I am angry. I am frustrated. I miss my daughter. My sons. My husband. Me. I want to be free of it.. released from the repressive grip this newly emerging emotion has over me. I miss the old me.. my old life. Now all my social gatherings revolve around Unravel.. and if they don’t I […]
This time last year Tony and I were on the best trip of our lives. A trip to surprise trip to Disneyland with just Jennfier and baby Charlotte. She was 7 months old so totally easy and flexible. The trip was all about Jennifer, what she wanted to do and when she wanted to do […]
We went to do lab tours at Stanford yesterday. I wasn’t feeling so great last night so I went to bed right after the kids. I thought I would have plenty of time to write all about it tonight.. But life and memories stepped in the way. .. So tonight I write for me. I’ve […]
*** I debated sharing this. I wrote it last week. Its just a snapshot. A time in the midst of my desperate sorrow I was able to write *** my heart. sometimes i wonder if i can take this. i miss her so much so incredibly much more than i ever thought possible. i cry […]
Why? Why me? Why us? Why her? why? Today I am stuck. Deep in a hole of feeling sorry for myself. wanting so much to just have her back. To have my whole life back. I am trapped asking why? Today I want to go lay in bed. And just cry. And feel sorry for […]
Hindsight is 20/20 .. what a cruel thing that clarity can be. Nicholas is 3 now. He got to be our families superstar for the day. Jonathan did the best at making it that way. After staying up to decorate like I shared here he showered him with love and attention. It was quite incredible to […]
Its been a hard day. Just lots of up and down moments. The little ones.. looking at costumes with Charlotte.. knowing how much she would have loved them if her big sister was around.. because Jennifer would have picked them out for her. Asking a friend for baby doll toy advice for Charlotte.. since I […]
I waited to write, then I waited to share. Waited til I was ready to share one of the most personal experiences I have had since she died. Sometimes things happen and I know I won’t share.. sometimes things happen and I know I will.. This was one. But I had to just absorb it.. […]
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