final resting place

Why? Why me? Why us? Why her?

why?

Today I am stuck. Deep in a hole of feeling sorry for myself. wanting so much to just have her back. To have my whole life back. I am trapped asking why?

Today I want to go lay in bed. And just cry. And feel sorry for myself. I can’t though I am lucky enough to have my still living 3… but today I wish I didn’t have to. Today I wish I could just retreat away.. laying in my bed all day. But all consuming grief is not a option during my kids waking hours.. Its hard. Somedays really truly hard to do.

I want to find the words to share about the day we finally laid buried her. Her final resting place. The one I am looking forward to joining her in one day.

But I can’t seem to find the words. They are out there.. floating around. But luckily not trapped inside me. The day was a release. The whole day. By the end I was exhausted. Just completely drained. I don’t think I have recovered yet. My mom took the other 2 kids so Jonathan and I could prepare. We bought balloons and a present for her. We bought flowers and picked out books and clothes for her. Moments before it was time to go .. I wavered…

did I really want to bury her??

We asked our friend to be there.. at a distance to take pictures for us. Because sometimes I like to remember. I wasn’t sure if I would want to share all, some or none. But I think I am settled on sharing some. ..

a horrifically beautiful day.

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walking up.. seeing her headstone for the first time.

he wanted to know about everything
he wanted to know about everything
and a chance to touch it all with his hands
and a chance to touch it all with his hands

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I read this book to her every single day of her first year of life.. I read it in a empty nursery waiting for her.. Never did I think I would read it at her grave.
I read this book to her every single day of her first year of life.. I read it in a empty nursery waiting for her.. Never did I think I would read it at her grave.

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Tony came home for lunch today, but I think it was mostly because he knew I needed just a moment to not be strong. To be held by him and allowed a moment to cry.

I love this man.

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..and it hurts me so much to see him hurt
..and it hurts me so much to see him hurt
Choosing another outfit for her take with her.
Choosing another outfit for her take with her.

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He was most interested in the urn. He asked us to show him everything.
He was most interested in the urn. He asked us to show him everything.

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..because he is a child still .. he always helps us find the joy.. in our moments of greatest despair our kids can help us find a reason to smile. Real genuine smiles.

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 forever 6

forever missed

forever

jennifer

FOREVER

minnie

…until there is a cure..

 

88 Responses to “final resting place”

  1. Wow, those photos, so poignant and precious.
    Your grief and love made me weep.

    Jennifer has an absolutely beautiful headstone- I bet she loves the butterflies
    Bless you all.

    Kerry 🙂 xxx

  2. There are no words. I wish there were answers. This is a beautiful resting place. She is everywhere. Thinking of you and your family …

  3. Thank you for sharing. What beautiful, heartbreaking pictures! She is a lucky girl to have such a wonderful family. I am so sorry for all 6 of you. No one should have to experience this. Until there is a cure…..

  4. I don’t even know what to say, but I want you to know Jennifer is thought of everyday. We got fluttered last week and I was so excited! The kids were so excited! We talked about Jennifer and my five year old said, “she is still alive in Heaven.” So true, I hope to meet Jennifer one day because she has made me a better mom, person and has brought me closer to God. Love to you all!

  5. I’m speechless, yet so much I want to say. Thank you for sharing your daughter, your family, your grief with us. Not a day goes by that I do not think of Jennifer, you, Tony and the kids. What a beautiful memorial on such a beautiful day. I bet she loved it. That could not have been an easy thing to do, I’m so so sorry Libby…it should never have been. Love and hugs my friend.

  6. I am glad you thought to have someone tale photos. The grief there hurts to look at, but I know it is only a fragment of what you all felt. Thank you for continuing to share your story, Jennifer, amd

  7. That last comment got cut off! Thank you for sharing your story, Jennifer, and the rest of your family with us.

    Sticking by Unravel, until there is a cure, because of you and Jennifer.

  8. Im so sorry Libby. I love you all. All my love and Prayers to you all. Today and everyday. Until there is a cure. LOVE 4 JLK ♡ FOREVER 6.

  9. Thank you for continuing to share this painful journey with you. As incredibly painful this is, it shows an utterly, amazing side of something else; love.

    Continuing to help bring attention to the lack of funding and how these innocent children suffer. Stay strong, Libby, you are amazing.

  10. I wish I had the words to say to fit this…but I don’t. Thank you for sharing these moments with us, I can only imagine how hard it is to make that kind of decision. Sending you my love, Libby…

  11. I am moved beyond words with the bravery that you embody as you face this awful challenge . I think of you and your family often and pray always for you to persevere and be buoyed by the mass of people surrounding you in love, both those you know and those you don’t.

  12. Thank you so much for sharing with us, it means alot…i know it was hard for you as it is for me to look at the pictures of your pain.. Jennifer is in my heart always and forever and never will be forgotten and when I see a Dragon fly I will know is you sweet Angel saying hello with that smile that lights up the world….Thank you again, so much love for Jennifer and the Kranz Family…

  13. The power and emotion behind these photos hit me like a truck. I can’t even imagine your pain. Sending love, strength and peace to you all.

  14. On the eve of the Jewish New Year (tonight 9/24) I will include the entire K family in my prayers. I will send a prayer of healing to everyone to hope that over the next year, your hearts and souls will be soothed and find small patches of peace and laughter. JLK has touched the hearts of so so SO many people with her beauty, love and smile. We are always thinking of her, and you.

  15. My heart hurts so deeply for you all. Please know that we are praying for you and your beautiful family. I am forever changed because of Jennifer. I will do what I can to help spread awareness of pediatric cancer. I was in complete shock to learn how little money is invested in such a cause. Blessings to you Libby. You are an amazing person.

  16. I am at a loss for what to say. Except that I keep her and your family in my thoughts everyday and admire everything you have managed to accomplish under such horrific circumstances. Jennifer’s resting place is magnificent. What a beautiful place for you, Tony and the children to visit. Of course she is everywhere, always with you. But I think this beautiful memorial will give the children a much needed point of reference. A place they can come and connect with her again and again. Keep talking to her–all of you. She can hear you.

  17. Heartbreaking, beyond heartbreaking, beyond heartbreaking. So sorry, though a million sorrys will never cover it or even come close. Jennifer was blessed to be loved by your family. Because she was yours, she is changing the world. And I think that may be what she came here to do. Big hugs to all of you.

  18. Thank you for sharing Libs.. I know how hard that this is for you.. I think of her every.single.day.–all 6 of my Kranz Fam…
    Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer.

  19. beautiful headstone, so sorry you even had to look at those for Jennifer. painful and beautiful at the same time. makes me cry for you and with you. hugs to you all.

  20. Libby.. my heart aches. you have a beautiful famiy and i am truly touched by all you share. I continue to wish you comfort. and inspired by your ability to see all the good surrounding you. xo

  21. Thank you once again for sharing such personal photos and emotions with us. These pictures are so painful to look at. I am so sorry for your pain! Sending so much love to the entire Kranz Family. xoxoxo

  22. These pictures are heart breaking, and so sacred at the same time. My heart aches for your family. I wish it werent so.
    Jennifer. <3

  23. This was something I often wondered why it wasn’t done yet. You truly prolonged the inevitable. I know this is the hardest thing any parent ever has to do, but for some reason it happens to some of us. No one can ever explain it and No one ever will. My only response to these sorts of lifes happenings is, it was God’s will. Whether we like it or not. Be strong for your little guy for your family, in reading your blog he seems to be feeding off mommys emotions. Kids need to see their parents strong and invinsible even though we don’t always feel like that. I just would hate for him to ALWAYS look back at this time and say this is when mom changed and she was never the same. Think about it. You have changed so much in ways you never wanted to, but look at it from a kids point of view…..your kid. I hope my comment isn’t too harsh, but quite honestly I think from reading everyones comments day after day, they are prolonging your healing process with so many im sorrys day after day. I understand it’s only been 7 months and you want Jennifer here and you are doing an amazing job in not letting her go… prolonging her burial, fluttering and flittering, the non profit, the clothes you wear, the not getting a pedicure, the list goes on and on. I feel badly for you because you are never going to heal and move forward which I now you don’t want to but you have to. You have to allow your little girl to Rest In Peace. I really do wish nothing but the best for your family and I pray for your continued healing in your grieving for your Jennifer.

    1. Thanks for your reply. I want to respond to a few things. Its actually not the inevitable since lots of people choose not to bury for a multitude of reasons. We chose to wait because we wanted her headstone complete and it took time to decide what we wanted and then get it carved.

      Strength is a funny thing.. for us we choose to allow our children see us hurt and struggle. Because from our darkest hours comes our greatest triumphs. Unfortunately because one of my children died I will never ever be the same.. some of that is for the worse and some is for the better, but the changes are something I will not hide. So when I look from his perspective he will see a mom that loves all of her children with all she has.. a mom that weeps terribly for the one she lost but stands up through my pain to throw a ball or build a puzzle. He sees a Dad who misses his daughter.. but even in his pain holds his wife and cries right along with her. Then gets down and builds legos because thats what his kids need from him in the next moment. He will learn from our example what it means to love and lose to win and to fail. He will see from us the kind of man we hope him to grow to be.

      This is my way.. our way.. Its what works for us.. Certainly no handbook on it. And we have found a few professionals, that deal with grief in children and know our kids, who we talk about how we are grieving and allowing our children to grieve. We talk as a couple and with them to come up with a roadmap for unchartered territory.

      The non-profit.. well thats not about her. Its about my 3 surviving kids and the the grandchildren I hope to have. We don’t raise awareness for pediatric cancer because it holds onto her.. we do it in the hopes of saving children.. and if god forbid its one of my own again I am openly selfish enough to hope we have made a impact and they will have a better shot at survival.

      Please understand I blog and share because I am their mom during the day.. But at night I am all hers again.

      1. Dear Libby, your response was very well spoken and thought out. You are entitled to each and very feeling and thought regarding the paths each one if you take at any time. Grief is a difficult time and very fluid, and something hard to imagine if you have not experienced it firsthand. Compassion is called for from all of us even when we don’t understand choices made. Peace and blessings

      2. Beautifully written, Libby. Keep on being real… do not ever feel like you need to hide your thoughts or emotions. The Lord is taking you by the hand and guiding you. The pictures brought tears streaming down my face. Continued thoughts and prayers to all of you.

    2. Your response was beautiful.

      You are never going to “heal” or “move on” that would be an impossible goal to ever set for yourself. You cannot “go back” and simply become your old self again. In my heart, I believe the “old you” died with Jennifer. You are now creating a new you to live in this temporary world. At the 7 month mark, I find it remarkable you are remembering to breathe.

      I also have to comment on how much I love (what a strange word to use, I apologize for sounding upbeat) the way you buried Jennifer. There was no rush, no time table to follow. You had a beautiful memorial service when she died, for her. And then when you were ready, you buried her-when it felt right for your family. There was no need to rush it. My eyes burned with tears as I saw you included only Jonathan, it just seemed right-an honor he deserved because of his years with her.
      I believe your children will reflect on this horrifically sad time and know that their parents loved them and loved Jennifer…and that is all that will matter.

      I can’t find the words to express how sorry I am for your profound, unimaginable loss…and I will always feel that way.

    3. I’m replying to this comment from Steph, but only after careful consideration and thought. I want to be clear that I do not know the Kranz Family at all. I’ve simply followed the blog for the past months (from about January 2014). The comment that was left has bothered me. I don’t think it was written with ill intent, but it stayed with me and I still cannot shake it. I have 2 children and I’m very fortunate that this far they’re healthy and always have been. But I have experienced loss. Loss comes in many forms; be it death, divorce, cutting ties in a friendship, or…. The list goes on. I believe that the comment was meant to be helpful. I believe there was no ill will or mean-spirited nature intended. I believe that the commenter felt they had constructive words to share. The problem for me is that grief is so personal. A unique experience. The journey down its path is one that the griever does not have the luxury of choosing the so-called “right way”, but even more bothersome to me is that the commenter went on to name what they deemed as the “wrongs” that Jennifer’s mom has done. Again, I’m pretty sure these words by “Steph” were intended for good, but for me they majorly missed the mark. Maybe I’m taking this too personally. I don’t know the family or Libby- that being said- hi Libby 🙂 I have my own grief that I’m dealing with and I hope I’m not intruding on yours. I think you’re beyond awesome. All I can hope for your family is that the pain dulls a bit and that you all experience a few moments of peace as time goes on. Best wishes. I’d never be intentionally be negative on this forum so I’m sorry that it seems a bit that way right now.

  24. Our children are supposed to carry on our legacy…not be stricken down before they really have a chance to begin their journeys. Your Jennifer has courageously fought and been loved by so many. My heart goes out to you and your family. Much love to you all!

  25. Libby,

    I do not know you, but since I became aware of your story I look forward to your blogs everyday though saddened about the reason you are writing it. I am touched and honored that you have chosen to share your story and journey about Jennifer and her battle with DIPG with the world. You have accomplished so much with your unravel organization, and just living in the moment. Most of all sharing your story with Moms like myself who often take their kids for granted, because we often become consumed by our busy lives, and go through the motions of the day without really looking at the true importance of how special each day is. So for that I thank you. I have learned to say yes a little more often. I think about her everyday.

    Your blog has also helped me understand what my 86 year old grandfather is struggling with each and everyday. My Uncle passed away suddenly on April 30th, 2014 at the age of 56. Even though he was an adult, your blog has helped me understand the pain of what it is like to lose a child. There are no words for that. No parent should have to bury their child. By reading your blog, I have learned to celebrate my Uncle’s life every month on the anniversary of his passing by releasing balloons into the air to celebrate his life. I hope you realize the impact you are having on the world, and for that impact I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for helping me be a better Mom, friend, and sister. All of our lives have been touched because of Jennifer’s story. Much love to all 6 of you.

    “Jennifer, may you find that Heaven really smells like watermelon, and you are running around in frilly dresses,”

  26. I’m so sorry.

    It is impossible to look at your photos and not feel the anguish, despair and pain. I am so sorry for all of it. Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter with the world, sharing your pain, your sorrow, but still your joy, your family and your incredible love and even faith. I think of all of you everyday. I have Jennifer’s 6 year old crayon signature on a thank you card, sent by Aunt Christina. I keep it safely tucked into a cabinet door in my kitchen. And I begin every.single.day, reaching for my coffee cup, remembering Jennifer, forever 6, and remembering you and your family. And I say a short, silent prayer for your strength, courage and healing. You have taught me lessons in gratitude with a magnitude you can’t possibly imagine. And I know you wish you never did. I wish you didn’t either. But I am still here, bearing witness and spreading glitter.

  27. Libby,
    I can’t stop my tears from falling, hearing me cry and asking why? Having an internal conversation with God and just telling him how hard is to believe in what so ever we name it, faith, God, Universe, Power, Love…why? why? why?
    I will forever keep Jennifer, you and your whole family in my heart, always thinking on you 6.
    Love and Light,
    Sandra

  28. Words….you didn’t need to write them….the pictures clearly tells the story. I’m sitting here crying with a hurting heart for you and your family. My prayers are with you all.

    Libby, in many of your entries you ask if you are doing your living 3 right. You are most definitely doing it right. Jonathan will be so greatful to you and Tony for including him in that day…just him…letting him be such a big part. He is lucky to have you both as Mom & Dad, as are Jennifer, Nicholas, and Charlotte.

    Many many prayers…

  29. Before Jennifer, Dominic, Amber I knew nothing about DIPG, and little about pediatric cancer. But someone shared, and instead of running like usual, I looked. Then I looked harder and began to understand that my Uncle who I never met who died and is forever 5 from Leukemia; that was over 70 years ago. What strikes me is this. What has changed? Precious little, and that is when all came into perspective for me.

    Jennifer’s story was where the connection finally solidified, that much more needed to be done, shared, researched, fund raised…whatever it takes to unravel pediatric cancer. The cost is too high to pay to have learned this. It needs to end, another 70 years shouldn’t pass before there is a cure. <3

  30. Thank you for sharing her with the world. You have done so much to bring awareness to this cancer. I had never heard of it before but now I can’t stop thinking about it. God Bless you and your family. Your families strength is incredible.

  31. Jennifer you are so missed. Thank you for sharing Libby and family. Your strength on this unimaginable journey is amazing. Lots of love.

  32. No words are needed for this post, your photos speak a million words. This was a beautiful tribute to Jennifer. Lots of love to all of you.

  33. I would have never thought to take pictures, but in this situation it seems totally natural. This was a tribute to your daughter and an occasion that could be marked and we tend to do that with pictures. Jennifer has a legacy and it grew out of her far too early departure from this world. If your tragedy brings about some funding for research, then it’s another way her spirit lives on. God bless Kranz family.

  34. I sit here in tears living and feeling through your words. Wondering the same questions and aching for you and your family. Thank you for continuing to share with us the pain and the triumphs. I actually read through the comments today (I don’t usually) and please know that the one poster above only sees the small snapshot of your life. The pain that you are sharing with all of us. She doesn’t see the fun that you have with your 3 living kids. Yes – kids are intuitive but honestly how could you ever (or why would you want) to hide the fact that your eldest isn’t with you any longer.

    Knowledge is power. I pray that the woman above never has to face the challenges you’ve faced – or if she does that she won’t face the same judgment that she passed here.

    You are supported by so many.

    Peace and prayers sweet Kranz family.

  35. Though we have never met, we think about you and your family a LOT. As I write this and wipe away my tears, I look out my window at the “Unravel Pediatric Cancer” sign and dragonflies posted in my front yard. Each night, when we say what we are thankful for, we also include a “shout out” for someone we are sending love to–someone that we want to honor that day. Each night. Jennifer and your family have been part of our night-nights for so, so long. In fact, last night, my five-year-old daughter sat and played near the dragonflies and explained to her friend who they were for. You were also our night-nights shout-out.

    I have watched this ugly battle with my niece, Emily. I will often look at Em and my daughter and try to put myself in your shoes. It’s UNimaginable. Words escape me. But for what it is worth, you, your family, and Jennifer have made an impact on our lives. We will forever be touched by you. And we have learned not to take life for granted. Thank you for sharing….

  36. Sometimes you don’t need words. The pictures say it all.

    Some time back, soon after Jennifer’s passing (how wrongly peaceful and innocuous that word sounds), I misunderstood a post of yours, thinking you were burying her the next morning. I ended my comment, whatever it was, with something like, I hope it will be a beautiful day for you. Realizing my mistake, I was horrified. The last thing I want is to come here and upset you. My comment seemed to imply I thought your grief was in some way enjoyable. I kept thinking how I could explain or un-upset.

    Thankfully, I was right. The day you laid your daughter to rest was beautiful. Grief can be beautiful. It’s love bubbling to the surface, love on display.

  37. Looking at the pictures tells it all. The pain, the hurt, how much she is missed. I have nothing I could think of saying. This is so sad to watch the pain you are both in and it was wonderful that you took your son with you because of his struggle with loosing his sister. I can only keep praying for comfort with hopes that one day you will feel Gods embrace and his love to help you understand this and give you the strength to keep going.

  38. Brokenhearted with you. Missing Jennifer, the beautiful, brown-eyed beauty I’ve never met. My 3 yr old recognizes every picture of her and speaks her name with delight. Jennifer
    Continuing to pray for your peace, comfort, and joy.

  39. Libby and family,
    We wanted to pass this moment along to you to hopefully bring you some peace. We opened our garage the other day to find a dragonfly sitting in our driveway. We’ve never seen one stationary before, always flying so it definitely caught our attention. My husband picked it up and moved it thinking it was hurt. Only a few minutes later did we both think, “this has to be a sign…is jennifer here with us during our fluttering sending a message?”. We dropped the kids to school and when we returned, the dragonfly had flown away. We truly believe jennifer paid us a visit. I used to live on Ticonderoga place in Gilroy so it all comes back to us when you mention your surroundings. We think of you every day and pray for you. Fluttering has gotten our community in Southern California together. The Holman family

  40. For several days now I have been looking at this post and the incredibly special pictures you have chosen to share. I kept thinking I would find some appropriate words. . .sorry. . .there are none. I grieve for the loss you all are struggling so hard to deal with, I admire the strength you call upon to carry on, move forward while still really wanting to go backwards in time, I am in awe of the love you show every single day to Jonathan, Nicholas and Charlotte, and to each other. . .so I have no words or answers. I do have much love and prayers which I shall continue to send to all of you!

  41. There are no words- the pictures say it all. So very heartbreaking- I have to remember to take a breath through your post.
    You are so very amazing Libby- you are making Jennifer so proud just by putting one foot in front of the other each day and through Unravel. I can not tell you how much my girls and I feel honored to be part of your fluttering each day. Our community has made so made so many requests for Fluttering that we have split our kit in 2 each day. Keep it up Libby- your Jennifer is going to find a cure to this awful disease

  42. I am reading this through tears and my heart is full to overflowing with love for all 6 of you. The grace, strength and courage with which you are walking this horrific path is amazing. Your love for one another is one of the most powerful forces I have ever, or will ever encounter. I KNOW that Jennifer can still feel it, because it is powerful enough to transcend even death. I know I am a stranger to you but you will forever be in my heart and in my prayers. Jennifer will always be remembered in my home

  43. Very sad that you have to go through this, but please know (and I’m sure you do) that you have so many people praying for you and your darling family. You did a wonderful job with Jennifer’s burial, one I’m sure she will be proud of. Jennifer’s headstone is beautiful!

  44. I cry out to Him about the unfairness of it all. I pray for you daily. I know it makes no difference, but I am so so very sorry. I pray for a cure.

  45. I think you’re doing this exactly right. Grief is a funny funny thing. No one experiences it the same way. There is no roadmap. There are no guides. We deal with it in the only way we can.
    If I were in your position I know it would not look the same. You all have such an aura of love. Why would you not show your children that it is OK to feel pain? They are feeling it too! Not feeding off your emotions; they miss her as well. You are showing them emotions are part of us, we are strong & brave, pick ourself up and live, even through the pain. You truly are changing people’s lives and their hearts.
    All my love & prayers.

  46. I’m wondering if you know how strong you are. I don’t know how you do it Libby. I hope to see you on the 18th, I have something I made for you.

  47. I’ve sat here for the longest time, lost in thought…trying to think of something to say, to express what can never be expressed correctly or fully. I noticed a huge stain on my carpet at the foot of my chair. Puzzled, angry: then I realized it was from tears that fell as I read. I will forever admire how you share this journey of grief with the world. You’re helping someone, somewhere.

  48. I am in tears reading this and looking through pics. It brings back memories of burying my baby less then four months ago. You are amazing for sharing these and I continue to pray for you, Jennifer and your family.

  49. I am in tears reading and looking at your pictures. It brings back memories of burying my baby less then four months ago. A parent burying there child is something nobody should have to go through. I continue to pray for Jennifer, you and your family.

  50. There is no timetable for grief. My mother kept my father’s ashes on the mantel for seven years, until she was ready to join him. We (her children) waited six months, until we could all be together, to go out on the bay and spread both sets of ashes in the water. I have her robe hanging in my bathroom, next to mine. Sometimes, a memory will catch me by surprise (seeing her handwriting in a cookbook, for instance) and bring me to tears. My point is, we all have to deal with loss in our own way. No one can walk our path for us. You’re doing what’s right for you, and for your family.

  51. Libby,

    My heart aches along side yours. I know your grief is sometimes too deep for words, but you are not alone. Your pictures literally moved me to tears. Sending love from halfway around the world. Your entire family is so very loved. Btw, I was going to respond to an earlier post, but you beat me too it. And your response was much more restrained than mine

  52. All the way from Lebanon, Middle East: I pray for you and your family daily, dear Libby. I cried my way through all of your posts. YOU CHANGED MY LIFE! Oh Jennifer.. I think about you all the time. I hope heaven smells like watermelon. Fly high baby girl!

    Forever 6
    Forever JENNIFER ♥

  53. Libby, thank you for allowing us in. I pray for you and your husband and the kids… I continue to want to hug you so much… So much love, from a faraway friend, Eileen

  54. The headstone is beautiful. The dragonflies are perfect. And please do not worry one second about how other people say you should grieve. Your grief is your own, you will heal on your timetable. Feeling and expressing emotion is healthy and your children will know it is okay to be sad.

    Jennifer is touching so many through your words. Love to you.

  55. i believe our kids need to see our pain and endurance to keep moving on through it all… why would we want to be ‘strong and invinsible’ through a death… any death… Death should make you feel something…it breaks you down and you build yourself back up. Do we raise our children to feel nothing? To not have the world around them affect them in any emotional way. Do we hide them from pain and hurt…I already see too many young adults with very little emotion. We need to teach our children to feel.. to be compassionate.. to be in the moment… to be involved. People fight and make up, People lose and rebuild, People get fired and find a new job… And through this all they feel,… pain, hurt, disappointment… but they also learn to conquer, live, love, embrace, be stronger… make a difference…
    Libby.. you are making a difference and unfortunately our children are losing friends, cousins, sisters, brothes to a scary disease… love, communication, strength and action can only help…you already know and feel it… your children will appreciate you for all you have done. im glad to see your confidence shining through.. never doubt.

  56. What people like “Steph” don’t realize is that in trying to tear you down, they only make you stronger and more solidified in your beliefs. You are one classy chic, Libby! :o)

  57. When I was 17 one of my best friends committed suicide. I was devastated, broken, consumed by pain I didn’t understand. I remember shortly after his death I asked a friend’s mom who had lost a cousin to suicide when she was 17 “How long does it take to get over it?” Her answer was “never”. She explained that the grief changed and became a part of you, but never “went away.” I was horrified, because at 17 never is a very long time! But I’ve always been thankful for her words, because she was 100 percent correct. Going on 20 years and that experience is still a part of me. It doesn’t hurt now like it did then, but it’s never gone away. The loss defined me in some ways and changed me in many ways. And I am grateful I had sometime to tell me that it’s okay to not “get over it” and “move on”. No one is ever allowed to judge another’s grief, ever. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.

  58. These pictures have such an impact. The pain of your family is so hard to look at. I thought the way you buried your daughter and children’s sister was perfect. Jennifer… till there is a cure

  59. Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful, your family, the headstone, the day, your love for each other your love for Jennifer! Thank you for sharing such a private special moment. xooxoxooxox

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