I can’t believe its already September. I can’t believe a year ago I didn’t even know this month was pediatric cancer awareness month. Seriously I look back and it seems just unreal to me that I had no idea about the things that are so ingrained in me now I can’t imagine not knowing.. not living it.. or surviving it as the case may be.
A year ago .. we were just a regular family of 6.. A year ago cancer was a word I rarely said.. now I say it multiple times everyday. I should count once how often I say it. A year ago I had no idea my time as her Mama was about to end..
sweet baby girl of mine.
Shhhhh… its fluttering time! Here is what it looked like in our home.
The boys were so excited to come out from quiet time to get to put the dragonflies together with me. The stakes had stickers on them that I just tore off and left the white reside.. Jonathan so like his father took the time to scrape it off the best he could.
They looked at the causevox page I set up to ask for donations for the researchers trying to find a way to save kids.. I have already sent it to my siblings and some friends that didn’t order their own fluttering kits. Jonathan is very intrigued by this portion of it. I think I am going to talk to him in a few days about the flittering option to see if he has any interest in doing that.. He likes to give out our business cards so this is a another option for him.
We pre-filled out everything we needed to on the paper work and stuffed the envelope for tonight. Both boys wanted to be the ones to clip the giant clip on the envelope… I am going to have to figure out a way to split up these prep jobs a bit better! Doing this I was once again humbled and energized by the people donating their time and love to make this whole campaign a reality. My friends brought it to life.. were the team that made it happen and so many people are now putting it into action. People we know and people we have never met.
Tonight while pumping gas a lovely woman came up to me.. mostly just to shake my hand and say she knows… and she cares. I will always hate it.. hate that she has a reason to know me.. but I am eternally grateful for all the people that chose not to turn away, that choose to lean in when they could easily change the channel.
I don’t know if I would have. I was the person that turned away from St. Judes commercials.. and frankly those are a whole lot cheerier than what I write about… than the facts Unravel is sharing..
for caring. for saying her name.
So tonight we gathered everything up and walked in jammies to a neighbor a few doors down from us. They run a day care. We don’t know them… and I have no idea if they know the horror a family across the street and a few doors down faced in February. I was surprising resistant to doing it.
I have been so excited by the whole campaign that I was surprised when I could tell I just didn’t feel like doing it. Walking there though all of that faded away and I felt a little giddy about the whole thing. We whispered and held hands the whole way there. We
had to be super quiet so they got a surprise when they opened their front door in the morning.
We talked about how we don’t know these people and hopefully this surprise makes them happy and they learn some new information for the paperwork we gave them. Hopefully they are able to donate and send us to another house tomorrow. We talked about the money we are raising for Unravel going to the drs working to find a cure for kids with cancer.
Then we got there and just had fun. Tip toeing so quietly around trying to find the exact right spot to place the dragonflies. At one point Charlotte squealed and was reminded by Jonathan that we have to be quiet.
I was the one who put the envelope on their front porch. I felt super nervous to do it.. but walking very quickly away I imagined how much she would have loved it. The secret.. the present for people at their home and doing good deeds. I blew a kiss in the air and said
this is for you sissy. Then we headed home.
I think we will finish out this week and then give our friends we are sharing the kit with a chance to flutter. Maybe Jonathan will go with them one time.. I hope to spend one day driving through town looking to see if we can find the kits. . A way to show the boys how many people are with us in this fight.
There were Love4JLK magnets when she was still here. She absolutely loved seeing them on cars around town. I keep notes in my phone.. for things I want to blog about .. Some I will never get a chance to write about .. because the time I thought I had to explore those emotions passed…
That’s one of them. .. How she felt and the things she said seeing her initial on cars.. At first I think it made her nervous.. but then one day she just loved it. So much. We see them now and my boys get excited and point them out. I hope seeing dragonflies throughout our town has the same impact on the. I hope they feel the support..
the Love4jlk. .. that we know has also morphed into love for all the Kranz’s.
Maybe thats why she suddenly liked it..
maybe she knew her time was shorter than any of us expected..
and maybe she knew we would be taken care of.
…until there is a cure…