
All day I have longed for this moment. . A need to write.. For whats boiling inside to pour out through my fingers.. Its hard to get a quiet moment alone in this house.. (so incredibly grateful for this simple truth) .. Tomorrow marks 12 years since I have last touched the one who made […]

I really thought this would be easier. I had this whole plan that I would let her lead me to the right picture and I could just share a story but I am just sitting here scrolling through and getting ideas.. but one picture isn’t nearly enough.. So then I get an idea .. like […]

Mom small talk. How are the kids? What are they up to. Every time I am split in two .. Part beaming with pride over the ever-changing humans we are raising. How busy we are with their lives.. sports and theatre.. drivers licenses and make-up .. I have new stories and tales to share.. They […]

You know that feeling when you have on pants that are too tight.. (really I want to say bra but trying to make this applicable to the handful of guys that might read this) .. How at first its just a little uncomfortable… Maybe you yank on them to unsuccessfully try to loosen them.. Or […]

final blog continued from this entry.. I love you. I screw up with you guys. I know that. I have all these plans and thoughts in my heads of how I am going to do and be so much better. And I screw it up. Lately its been because I have been scared. Its hard […]

..continued from this blog.. which is continued from this one. I love you. I miss you. Its hard to feel both of those things. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m not always strong enough to do that. Do you know how sorry I am? I have so much I would have done differently for you at […]

… continued from this post… How is it possible? How is it real that she has been gone for almost 5 years. Why? I know I know I know. We aren’t supposed to ask that. I am supposed to trust in your reasons. I’m not supposed to wish it to be anybody but mine. I […]

I say the words that I know I will always grieve her.. but lately.. really this whole past year I’ve just been mad about all of it.. And fighting like hell to deny it all too.. Been doing fairly well at it.. And had a distorted sense of pride about it .. But not sure […]
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