I have pulled away from blogging. I have lots of excuses and reasons for it… But I do miss it. The release it gives me.. But especially the connection it gives me to my daughter. jennifer I feel so distant from her right now. So much so I find myself wondering if she was real. […]
We woke up all with Jennifer on our hearts and minds… And as it turns out the feeling was mutual. My niece came over last night and saved Christmas for the second year in a row. She came over to wrap presents for my kids. Without her to talk with and to honestly do most […]
I forgot. I couldn’t believe I had forgotten… Cookie and cocoa and lights. A tradition that matters. We started it Jennifer’s first Christmas. It was always a celebration of getting to be parents. A night I always remembered and appreciated how hard fought for these children of ours were. As each year we went from […]
Christmas is almost here. A day I counted down to and used to love. Even more after having children then I did even as a child. It was pure magic to get to experience it with them.. I’ve lost that. I’m sad. I miss my daughter. I look at her stocking and hate that I […]
**** sometimes I write posts and don’t post them right away. This is one of those written in August**** Trying to prepare for Jonathan to start kindergarten. .It forces answers a lot of questions and fears I have been lucky enough to avoid. But it seems to help a new crop of them bloom. We […]
Don’t stop moving.. Don’t stop doing. .. Don’t stop going..I think that’s the key for me right now. The only way I am still standing. ..perhaps standing is a stretch.. But I am upright. Because the moment I am not fully occupied in something the tears find me. A 15 minute drive in the car […]
Tomorrow I will dust myself off.. Tomorrow I will pick myself up … but today.. Today I crumble. Today my 2 year old toddles over to me and asks to be picked up. Today she offers to kiss my owie and wipes away my tears. Today we start to clean up the garage.. and find […]
My daughter. I only know my Jennifer in pictures now. And she changed so much after the above one was taken.. I hardly remember her with chubby cheeks like that… How would she have changed in the nearly two years we lost? It used to be I could look through photos of her and not […]
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