Easter came again. I tried to pretend it wasn’t going to…But it did. Already our 2nd without her.. and I only got 5 with Jennifer. time is passing. it is so unfair. Last year my goal was simply to put one foot in front of the other. To not force myself to try to make […]
There was this ring. The most precious ring I have ever owned. More than my wedding ring or engagement ring.. This ring that I once had. I wrote about a few times before.. I bought a bag full of costume jewelry for Jennifer at a garage sale. A little while later she showed me that […]
I woke up this morning feeling like a weight was on my chest. Heavy and full and weighted down with missing her. We were out late the night before and Charlotte really struggled to sleep so I brought her into bed with us. I loved it but I never sleep as well when I have […]
Happy new year. . this year 2015.. .. just one more thing Jennifer will never get to experience. And I am hurting over it. So much. So much more than I expected to. We are all sick. It feels like we have been the whole fall/winter season and I can’t help but wonder if heartbreak […]
We did end up all going to the family baggo tournament at the same place we had our “goodbye to Jennifer party”. Not a easy decision since at first Jonathan said no.. we followed up with him and he still said no. But once he knew Daddy and Nicholas were going he waffled on it. […]
All these things I am being forced to walk through. Nothing feels real right now. Its like my body.. my heart.. my soul cannot accept that she is gone.. that I have to do this. These holidays. Something in me snapped on Friday. Broke apart. And I cried off and on all day. […]
JENNIFER JENNIFER JENNIFER jennifer.. I miss you. With every single cell of my body right now. I knew my heart would break when you left. I didn’t know it was even possible for my whole body to break.. for my heart to be so shattered .. for my soul to cry out for you. […]
There are so many different kinds of parades .. some we sit through and watch.. some we march in and some we shut our windows and close our curtains to try and drown out the noise. Last year today we were coming down from such a high. A never even dreamt of, dream come true, […]
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