
Her birthday is coming. Like a fucking train. I am staring at a train, barreling right for us and I cannot get us out of the way. I want so desperately to make it a celebration for her .. for them too.. But I don’t know how. I am crippled from the pain right now. […]

The tears are close right now.. Seemingly just below the surface and that really surprises me. But I feel like my strength is also. .. Because I am feeling her again. Its like she knows when I need her the most. Jennifer guides me.. when I allow her to. I am finding that when I […]

Her birthday is coming. .. She should be 8. This should be a celebration. She loved her birthday. I loved her birthday. But now I am dreading it. Terribly. No balloons to blow up.. no birthday chair to decorate.. no candles to blow out. . No presents. No joy. No happy.. But she deserves more […]

Well hello there.. It feels like forever since I have written… Like a lifetime ago.. Which happily I guess it was. Our dandelion wish arrived. A baby girl we named Bridgette Avari Kranz. Her middle name means gift from the heavens.. and we know she is simply just that. We didn’t know gender or when […]

18 months. I simply can’t believe it. officially a year and half since I have touched you.. since i have felt your warm breath in my face. 18 months since i have seen a new goofy pose for the camera.. I am still in shock over how badly it hurts. Over how much I notice the […]

Jennifer loved camping. I am so glad we went when we did. We really thought about canceling. Because it was the month before I was due with our 4th.. and well after all we could always do it later. As it turned out no we couldn’t since she would be diagnosed and killed by cancer […]

Jennifer was a water baby from the very beginning. She always loved the beach and just being in and near the water. I always feel closer to her again being near the ocean. .. We got back today from a few days at a rented beach house with my sisters family and my mom. Tony […]

I was apart from my kids pretty much the whole weekend. But they are my why and this is my how. I said it in our Unravel video, but I truly don’t do this just for Jennifer. I love to talk about her and share her name, but I don’t need a non-profit to do […]
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