
Sometimes we resist what we know.. this blog is really just a continuation of this one.. And sometimes urges and pushes are so strong we cannot ignore them.. I pulled the boys out of school and took them on a mommy and boys date to the movies. Coco. None of us had seen it… it […]

Whats it like? What’s it like to be you? I see it. I think that is probably the number 1 question I see burning behind people’s eyes that is never asked. Though it’s hinted to… in the escape of words like I can’t imagine. .. So I’ll tell you.. It’s showing up to drop my […]

Its February. Its here. This month that fills me with such dread.. Its here. And with her she brings my old friend.. Grief. True. Utter. Grief. Grief that hollows me out. This friend. The one I can’t remember not knowing, yet somewhere along the line, I was able to put in some separation.. Able to […]

I always want to figure it out. I always want to know why I am aching so much more than normal. But even now. Just sitting down behind my computer the tears are already flowing.. And I can’t say for sure why. There is a little girl, she looks very much like my Jennifer. Aptly […]

**As I was typing the last word in this entry this song started playing.. Open it in another window as you read this.. Because I think she wants me to share her message to me, with you..** ok buggers. ok baby.. ok.. i love you. i love you. i love you I was talking with […]

18 months. I simply can’t believe it. officially a year and half since I have touched you.. since i have felt your warm breath in my face. 18 months since i have seen a new goofy pose for the camera.. I am still in shock over how badly it hurts. Over how much I notice the […]

Early on when I started this blog I had a lot of people wanting to know about the story of Jennifer coming to make us a family. I never really answered because it was the most insignificant part of our story.. I missed out on an additional 9 months with my Jennifer. I have always […]

Sometimes the feelings that rise up surprise me.. The ones that make me feel like everything about me is all wrong. The ones that make me remember nothing will ever be right again. I love this new baby already. I really truly do.. But its not supposed to be coming. .. We were supposed to […]
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