dug in and dig out

dig in.. and you will dig out..

I have dug in.. enough to somehow both give me a head ache and release me from the one that has been lingering for weeks.

Jennifer loved chocolate cake.. and a ton of icing. She had celiacs disease and ate gluten free.. in a time before most people knew what that was..

I pre-made cupcakes for her and froze them so they were ready for any party. Icing on the other hand could be trickier.. We found a solution though.. We would melt a ton of chocolate chips and pour it on the cupcake and let it harden into a massive chunk of chocolate on the top. And she loved that.. She loved having a giant piece of chocolate to gnaw on and get all over her face..

I don’t know what it looks like where she is.. I don’t even know what she looks like.. But I imagine her just like that..

Wild eyed and covered in chocolate..

And happy..

In the end all I wanted to do was to absorb her pain.. And I have.

I have dug in.. and I will continue to dig out.. And to remember her ..

happy birthday baby girl

i love you so much

now you and me..

lets get to work

and change this thing.

..until there is a cure..

 

7 Responses to “dug in and dig out”

  1. Happy Birthday, Jennifer! She is so loved and celebrated every day. Today will be extra. I was at Glitter Gala setup, and I can tell it’s going to be an amazing event! I contributed flowers for the jewelry pull, and Jennifer was on my mind as I put them together. Every glittery gold ribbon tied left glitter on my hands, my clothes, my couch, my table… and I love it. The glitter is stuck to me, literally and figuratively. It’s stuck to me because of you… because of Jennifer. Until there is cure… 💖🎗️🎂

  2. Your words are helping to change the world, as she is forever by your side…being your little chocolate-mouthed, glitter-covered cheerleader. It’s so unfair that you aren’t able to physically see her cheering you on…but I hope with all my heart that you are able to FEEL her near.

    I hope birthdays in Heaven are the best celebrations ever, full of chocolate and fun and everything awesome. She will be so excited one day to tell you all about it. Until that beautiful day, I will pray for your shattered heart…no family should mourn a child while they celebrate them.

  3. I wonder how you all are and am aware of the date and how hard this time of year is for you. I know you think everyone has forgotten. It’s not true. As I lay awake sleepless with my own grief, I am thinking about you and your 4 beautiful blonde cherubs and the beautiful Jennifer Lynn Kranz. Grief makes it so hard to breathe sometimes. There is no way that there is nothing after this life. I’ve lost so many people, so many truly beautiful and loving souls. I just can’t imagine their beautiful energy just evaporates. They have to be somewhere, even if we cannot see them. I imagine Jennifer sitting with my Dad, learning to paint and draw and him teaching her about art while she inhales her gluten free cupcakes covered in chocolate. She would have loved him, one gorgeous soul recognizes another.

    Never forgotten, sweet Jennifer. So much love being sent your way, Libby, as you go through another truly shitty, fucked up anniversary that never should even exist.

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