Oh Jennifer. I miss you.
All these interviews .. you should have been beside me.. not a picture behind me. I have felt something. Like a force or a strength around me. I have turned on the car and felt you speaking to me through songs that are playing. I know you are so proud of us.. Of this I have no doubt. Not just the choice we made to donate the embryos.. but also to go public.
It buoyed me.. till it starts to dissipate and then the empty is so much more than it was ..
I miss you.
So much. We did all of this for you. To help you see and understand .. how very much we love you. How its not our blood that makes us family its our love. And that we were complete.. so perfectly complete with you and your brothers and baby sister.
Here is the interview we did that really explains why we made this choice and how Jennifer was completely the center of all of it.. and that now she is gone they honor her and our work at Unravel. Its a skype interview with people.com who did an incredible job sharing our side of the story. I hope you can watch this.
For 9 months with all of you, we were whole. Even with you sick… I was whole.
Now 9 months we have been incomplete without you… I know how selfish that is.. to wish for my wholeness despite your suffering.
I miss you.
Jennifer Lynn Kranz we would choose you, over and over again..
I still would. Do you know that?
Rewind to Oct 28th 2007. Give me the choice of 6 years with you.. and then a lifetime of pain without you. I’d do it again. Oh buggers you are so worth this pain. But I just can’t believe how much this hurts.
I hope you know these tears I seem to constantly shed are just my love releasing in waves of pain over not having you in my arms anymore.
You made us better people.. always and unknowingly.. you helped us all.
You help me still.
Because you give me something to look forward to..
a goal to always be working towards..
getting to see you again.
…until there is a cure..