Category: embryo dontation

the gift of motherhood.

About 2 years ago I shared a piece of our life unconnected to childhood cancer. What I realized might have been the purest for them because of her.. Certainly the first. We placed 4 embryos for adoption (huh? Read here). These embryos turned children live in Texas, and when we found out we were having a MNO event there my first text was to their parents to see if they wanted to meet. They did. Mostly I was excited. Just to meet all of them. See them, Liz and Kevin and the kids, Sammy and Ethan. To just know what it was like to meet these genetic children .. my kids biological siblings that aren’t mine. Of course I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous too.. I was going into it not having a motherly pull towards these kids.. but what if that changed?? It didn’t. It actually[…]

is versus was

Early on when I started this blog I had a lot of people wanting to know about the story of Jennifer coming to make us a family. I never really answered because it was the most insignificant part of our story.. I missed out on an additional 9 months with my Jennifer. I have always missed that time.. . But also known how much it just doesn’t matter. Biology doesn’t make a family. Tony is my family. My rock. My husband. The first of the 6 true loves of my life. And we are most certainly not related by blood. I do not love Jonathan or Nicholas or Charlotte because I was lucky enough to be pregnant with them.. or because we are tied by genetics.. It’s our love that binds us… because when they draw on the wall with sharpie its not a genetic thing that saves them.. its[…]

over and over again

Oh Jennifer. I miss you. All these interviews .. you should have been beside me.. not a picture behind me. I have felt something. Like a force or a strength around me. I have turned on the car and felt you speaking to me through songs that are playing. I know you are so proud of us.. Of this I have no doubt. Not just the choice we made to donate the embryos.. but also to go public. It buoyed me.. till it starts to dissipate and then the empty is so much more than it was .. I miss you. So much. We did all of this for you. To help you see and understand .. how very much we love you. How its not our blood that makes us family its our love. And that we were complete.. so perfectly complete with you and your brothers and baby sister.[…]

for them

I am a life jack of all trades. I can talk to people going through struggles with their teens… I was pretty much your worst nightmare.. no seriously.. bad enough I worry about if all the bad we have encountered I brought on myself .. on us -but thats a whole different post- I can speak about infertility and losses. Adoption success and scams. Food allergies and celiac disease.. And just plain ole motherhood. Now I have added in pediatric cancer and founder of a non-profit because of my worst nightmare come true – that is so much worse than I feared- child loss. I look at those words and it hits me.. all of these things I have experienced in my life.. They are all are because of her.. My Jennifer. The one that was so worth the broken road we traveled to parenthood.. The child that made feel[…]