First time public speaking tonight. Excited but nervous. .. My hope is just that I make a impact. I went for a run this morning. I haven’t done that in awhile.. been loving Cross Fit too much. But I am really glad I did. It centered me.. and relaxed me too. Thank you to Mamas […]
Sickness.. another post death milestone we are in the midst of. Nicholas got sick. No idea what it is.. and Charlotte seems to be suffering also… though very differently. He is way better today.. Last night was child loss support group. My sister and her family had our 3 littlest kids. We me up at […]
I feel like I am circling the drain right now… my muscles tightened and ready to snap. .. surviving only as a reflex. Its like so much is hitting at the same time. Tony being back at work was the least of it actually. I did ok with it. Set little goals like getting our […]
See you at dinner. That’s what Tony said to me tonight before he went to bed. Tomorrow is his first day back to work. Its going to be a rough transition for all of us. His work has been so good to us.. they are allowing him to come back slowly, 3 days a week. […]
We all miss her. At different times in different ways.. but there is a constant current ..i miss her… flowing through our household. Yesterday i saw the first offering from baby Charlotte in Jennifer’s room. One of her lovies. 4th kid I finally got smart and bought a bunch of the blanket animal she was […]
A good therapist and an attentive husband can really fuck up your morning! We had counseling this morning. I figured it would mostly be focused on Tony’s concerns for going back to work…Apparently not. Somehow we ended up on the topic of my guilt.. the subject of my blog last night that Tony doesn’t even […]
Everything is hard… everything reminds me of her. I just really want to have an experience where its not hard.. do i really? will I just be overwhelmed with guilt that day? We went to Ikea last week. Our kids are outgrowing the table we have..When she was in treatment we went there one […]
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