
Death changes everything.. one thing I have really noticing rising the the surface lately though is perspective. The boys were sitting with Tony eating lunch mimicking him. That natural adoration little boys have for their Daddies.. how they watch the way they drink, eat, walk and dress and then try to do it the same […]

Easter came again. I tried to pretend it wasn’t going to…But it did. Already our 2nd without her.. and I only got 5 with Jennifer. time is passing. it is so unfair. Last year my goal was simply to put one foot in front of the other. To not force myself to try to make […]

Its hard. Everything is hard right now. Year two. Fuck. Its hard. To just be.. to exist in a world void of my oldest daughter. To the outside world my oldest child is 5.. but I have been a mother for 7 years. Its hard to parent them all the way I want to.. To […]

I am just going along about my day.. getting home from the park trying to rush in to clean off the kids sandy feet and put Charlotte down for nap.. But since I am right there I figure I can get the mail. Its like suddenly being splashed in the face with cold water. The […]

Sometimes I feel like I am living in a two worlds.. one in my memory and one in the current. Right now they often overlap each other.. Yesterday I was enveloped in that truth.. As I was driving Jonathan to his new talk dr. the song Brave came on. I was transported back.. to driving […]

There was this ring. The most precious ring I have ever owned. More than my wedding ring or engagement ring.. This ring that I once had. I wrote about a few times before.. I bought a bag full of costume jewelry for Jennifer at a garage sale. A little while later she showed me that […]

I love being a mom, their mom.. I can honestly say I always have.. Right now though I feel like I am constantly running with all cylinders firing… and its starting to wear on me. I am trying to be the mom.. the wife I want to be but also run Unravel the way it […]

We were done. We were totally sure we were done with that pregnancy. Its part of why I especially hoped that baby would be a girl. I really appreciate having a sister and I wanted that for Jennifer. I will never every forget her coming to my bed at the hospital and meeting her baby […]
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