You know that feeling when you have on pants that are too tight.. (really I want to say bra but trying to make this applicable to the handful of guys that might read this) .. How at first its just a little uncomfortable… Maybe you yank on them to unsuccessfully try to loosen them.. Or […]
Tomorrow is our daughters birthday.. A teenager. WOW. What an exciting bittersweet moment for all Moms I think .. I remember when she was born. That first moment she was placed in my arms my whole world changed.. My heart opened up in a way I never knew possible.. And a fear along with that […]
********** I wrote this a few days before the shelter in place happened.. It was one of those posts I wasn’t sure if it was meant just for me to get it out.. or to share.. Tomorrow that 6 year old turns 7… and it feels right to share****** Charlotte is 6 now.. the baby […]
Mothers day eve.. I am hiding away in another room… so lucky to be listening to my 4 youngest loves working with their Daddy to make me gifts I am so grateful.. In a way and to a depth that I cannot explain. But there is also this pounding in my head.. A pressure building.. […]
For those of you that don’t know… we live in Santa Clara County in California. A “hotbed” for COVID-19. Let me tell you things still seem to be changing daily around here.. But for now we are on a shelter in place order for non-essential tasks. Why? For me one of my “whys” is my […]
I promised to come back here to remember.. but 6 years ago today I didn’t write.. 6 years ago today I don’t need a blog to help me remember.. This was the last blog I wrote while she was alive.. All of it.. Every single word of fear. Of overwhelming guilt. And the simplest and […]
final blog continued from this entry.. I love you. I screw up with you guys. I know that. I have all these plans and thoughts in my heads of how I am going to do and be so much better. And I screw it up. Lately its been because I have been scared. Its hard […]
They call it muscle memory.. mus·cle mem·o·ry noun 1. the ability to reproduce a particular movement without conscious thought, acquired as a result of frequent repetition of that movement. Yup. Both boys are struggling. Jonathan started first. His teacher came out and spoke to me after school.. He was getting in trouble at home.. Nothing […]
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