It has only been 5 months, but it feels like a life time. I find myself looking at pictures and old quick movies that I took on my phone of her and her brothers and I still can’t believe it; I don’t want to believe it. The fog has unfortunately lifted and now my family […]
I miss seeing her in new ways.. I miss her little arms surprising me with hugs.. and the sweet way she would talk to her baby sister. All I have now is the pictures. Sometimes I drown in them. . Often after I write I look for the right pictures to fit in. It takes […]
This idea came to me at my sister’s house. She had a neighbor whose house had been “flocked” with all of those pink flamingos on the front lawn. I thought what a great concept to raise awareness for pediatric cancer … Then it happened to me and I found out it could also be utilized as a fundraiser. I am proud […]
I think she is connecting us. A week or so ago (I have no grip on time right now) I was lamenting in the kitchen how Jennifer never got to try coffee.. she sent me sign which I thanked her for immediately. I don’t think it really sunk in though. A few days later doing the same […]
We did crossfit today. A local place … coast range crossfit has been beyond generous in gifting us a memberships. It’s the first time since I have known him that I have seen Tony truly excited about exercising .. I think it will be crucial component of his healing process. Being active was even a “homework” […]
Today was Charlottes first Easter.. also our first without Jennifer. Somehow I didn’t make that connection until I was nursing her before bed tonight. . She should have been here to help her baby sister explore her first basket.. . The boys did a great job. They adore their baby sister and it really makes […]
Sometimes.. this doesn’t seem fair.. or real… or possible.. or survivable. Tomorrow is Easter .. technically our second holiday since she has been gone.. but Valentines day.. 2 days after she died..I just don’t count it. Our boys had fun last night with cousins dying eggs. But it was hard also. Jonathan came home full.. […]
Easter egg dying at my parents house…with a ton of cousins. That’s where my 2 boys are tonight.. its where my big girl should be too.. . .me too actually. I always said I wasn’t going to stay.. that I was going to drop my kids and leave… I never did though. .. .till this […]
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