I still cannot find any solice in that sentence. . I want to. I plan to. I try to. But I don’t. Our goal has always been to make her birthday a day of gratitude for her .. for the years we were gifted with her. But I don’t even know how.. and maybe I never will.
14.
She should be fourteen. She should be graduating 8th grade this year.
But she is forever 6. Forever a brand new kindergartner ..
Oh but those six years we had.. So full.. so magical. I call Jennifer my first drink after a lifetime of thirst. There is no better way to describe her..
All I ever wanted to be was a Mom.. But I couldn’t make it work. I couldn’t make it happen.. Years of treatment and losses.. So when my arms .. when my heart got filled with her it was the most incredible thing.
I think the years of infertility made everyone that cared about Tony and I just so grateful for her. Because she was the answer to so many questions/prayers and tears.
So I try. I try so hard to not be overwhelmed by the loss of her.. but rather the gift of her.. But damn its hard.
Jennifer had a laugh that would fill a room. When she started giggling it was infectious .. and it was that way from the very beginning.
So please.. allow me to share it now..
.. I loved that..
this man loves his daughter.. tremendously.. if love was enough.. she would never have lived a moment of hurt.. 
She loved getting dirty and messy.. Especially pushing the envelope a little bit. So when I said she could draw on her hands.. she covered herself… or her little brother.
.. I loved that..
The kids found dry dusty dirt and went to town in it!
She loved to paint her face.. I think I should have let her paint mine however she wanted. . 
this look. so perfectly Jennifer.. the mix of sassy and sweet all rolled up into one.
Jennifer Lynn loved getting her face painted… Any opportunity to get it done she would. Glitter pink and pretty.. And she would keep it on as long as possible
I loved that..
I dread Christmas now.. my first gift stolen from me.. 
we painted her face that day we were home.. when we knew she had a tumor.. but didnt know if it was cancer.. 
Her sweet tooth was intense … she never missed a chance to have a treat.. anyplace anytime..
I loved that..
she loved celebrating their birthdays 
She had such a sweet tooth. she ate most of this
Daddy and Jennifer eating smores.. One of her favorite treats.
A Disney girl she helped us fall in love with all things Disney and made sure that her younger brothers adn sister would be given the gift of Disney.
.. I am grateful for that..
the start of our top secret tradtion 
Jennifer had 2 lovies.. her nigh night and her pinkie.. The first her yellow duck was given to her as a baby… I used to try to make it smell like me to help her sleep at night.. It was, we thought, her very favorite stuffie.. Until her beloved cousin was moving to Ireland and gave her most cherished bear.. pinkie to Jennifer.. Insisiting she keep it much to the horror of all the adults around them.. Both had silky strings attached to them that gave Jennifer a lot of comfort. Tony then Jonathan claimed nigh nigh and I pinkie after Jennifer was gone.
Charlotte and Pinkie were her constants… what she needed .. 
A water baby from the very beginning. There was no form of water that didn’t make her happy. Puddle jumping.. swimming and a tubby. .. anything..
.. I loved that..
One time I took just her out in the rain.. And then made Tony stand in the garage to take our picture.. ( I will sissy.. I will try to do this with them too) 
her first smile was right after a bath
Sissy miss.. she was a big sister. And she loved it. WIth every one of them… from their first moments.. she adored her siblings.. And I don’t even understand it, but she is so present in Bridgettes life ..
.. I love that..
just like this.. somehow i think they are just like this 
i love her expression of joy looking on as Jonathan opened a present .. 
She was almost always seen in a princess dress.. or jammies .. There was rarely any in-between. It was the best thing I did parenting her..My first touches of parenting with a no into yes without even realizing it.. .. the very first will it matter in a month.. 2 important parenting blog posts.. hard to read but so much within them that are Jennifer’s gifts to her siblings. And here is another that goes along with those. .
.. I loved that..
mismatched socks were her thing.. I do it often now as a silent reminder 
The simple gift of motherhood.. it has given me more joy than I could have ever imagined. It has given me a lifelong purpose and drive. And Jennifers birthday is the celebration of that. The selfish celebration of the gift of motherhood.
Jennifer Lynn Kranz
JLK
My perfectly imperfect girl
my first drink
I loved all of that
and
I love you
Happy Birthday buggers
thank you for being my wish come true
…until there is a cure.
Thank you for sharing your sweet Jennifer with all of us. ❤️❤️🎂
Happy birthday in heaven Jennifer and a very special day to celebrate Jennifer, Thank you for sharing about her with us and letting us view such fantastic photos that show so much of her personality.
Oh, Libby.
I’m sending extra love today. Wishing your girl were here by your side. Wishing there were anything I could do or say to make this hurt less.
I loved seeing all of these pictures- some I had never seen before- of your Jennifer. Getting these glimpses into your beautiful, sassy, fun, smart, sweet girl. I wish I had met her in person. Even though I didn’t, she still changed my life.
I hope that your girl is having the *biggest* party up in Heaven with her Papa by her side right now.
Xoxoxox.
I always cry and get a lump in my throat when I read your blogs. Jennifer was beautiful and has left her mark thanks to everything you’ve done starting unravel. Her memory lives on and I hope knowing that you’ll see her again brings you peace.
Happy Heavenly Birthday Jennifer!
Happy Birthday Beautiful Angelic Jennifer! I loved seeing the beauty in all of your pictures and know that you make all of us smile with you! Until we meet again! We will continue to fight for a cure in your sweet honor
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 HBD to you sweetness <3
I wish there was anything to say of comfort. All I can say are these are beautiful photos, and I wish she was there with you now. Sending big hugs.
I remember in an early post, a video of Jennifer singing to her baby sister (Baby Mine?). Her beautiful little voice, the care and love she was showing her sister, absolutely melted my heart. I couldn’t help but think how very special this little girl is. Jennifer was a rare, beautiful, soul, a soul that will live on forever in our hearts. Happy Heavenly beautiful girl.
She is still remembered. I read your blogs in 2014 and have never forgotten you or your family.