belated and genuine thank you

When Jennifer was still here fighting and I started blogging I feel like everyday I had big realizations and break throughs.. After she died it was the same. I was constantly making huge deep connections within myself..

Now its rarer that it happens.. In part because its just harder to carve out this much needed time to sit and “talk” with myself.. And because maybe that’s another sign of my growth within this journey.. Not having the need to be making so many life defining or changing realizations..

But it happened recently.. and once they started I feel like its been happening a lot.. I have so much bottled up inside.. not so paitiently waiting for me to make the time to sit like this.. To take it out and look at it and begin to understand it.

Texas. We recently went there for Unravel. ..

I’ve always wanted to travel. Whenever I was given a opportunity through my parents I jumped at the chance. Because of the choices Tony and I had happily made I knew that wouldn’t be a option for our family. Having a lot of children and me not working. .. Totally worth the tradeoff for me.. And I know how lucky we are to even have that choice..

As Unravel grows I have been afforded the luxury of traveling .. I have always been very grateful for that..Its one of the many many things I get back from the “work” I put in. Jennifer is the spark that created Unravel..

but somehow I never realized your role in it. ..

I have often said that God knew I couldn’t be a mom to this many kids without help so he gave me Jennifer first. My babies are getting bigger.. and more independent.. Soon they will all be in school full time. . Something I have dreaded since the moment I became a Mama. ..

Next year it will be just me and these 2 girls at home while big brothers are both at school all day.. and yes I see biggest sister watching over them!

you gave me Unravel.. you give me a reason to be busy. to be ok as they grow. and as you don’t.

I am so grateful to those that believe in Unravel. In our mission. That believe in me. In my daughter. Because it gives me purpose and drive. It will carry me through the years that will come and pass whether I want them to or not. As my children God willing, continue to grow and thrive.. I will still have Unravel… well at least until there is a cure..

And I believe my Jennifer’s gift to me through Unravel is that travel. That opportunity to meet and connect with new people. To share her story.. Our love and our loss. Unravel gifts me one on one times with my surviving kids.. Being not just sorry but active WITH them .. not just for them. And I think it will help me survive this changing time without her.

At this years she is beautiful race with my adorable glitter spreader!!

Like God knew I needed her.. She.. I think Jennifer and God knew I needed this. Unravel and all its gifts. . That I need those of you that care.. those of you that are active.. To help me through this life with four in my arms and one in my heart. I don’t know if I have ever just publicly said thank you. So here it is .. belated and genuine ..Thank you. Thank you to the volunteers and supporters that make Unravel what it is..

we never did make it to NY for that trial like we talked about..

Never did get to Hawaii for a swim.. 

I’m sorry.

and thank you. 

…until there is a cure..

 

 

4 Responses to “belated and genuine thank you”

  1. This is beautiful Libby!! You are always in my prayers!!! Much love to you and your family!
    xoxoxoxo
    Colette

  2. Proud to always be a supporter of Unravel. I followed Jennifer’s fight from nearly the beginning, and promised silently to myself that I would forever speak Jennifer’s name and story, no matter what. I watched in horror as her journey unfolded and her life was stolen…that silent promise turned into a “loud” promise, I can never be silent again when it comes to childhood cancer.

    I have a hard time with the fact that I ignored childhood cancer until I found JLK’s story and your blog in late 2013…I wish I could say that I always cared about it, but truthfully I never realized pediatric cancer was so common and so deadly until I happened across your page. Jennifer showed me that it wasn’t rare…and you showed me how to become “active”. For that, I feel so much grattitude. Thank YOU for using your words to ignite a flame in my heart, and countless other hearts around the world.

    How I wish your pain could be eased and your life returned back to the “normal” you had before cancer struck your family. I know that “I’m sorry” is an empty promise unless you truly do something and put action into the words…Unravel helps me do that. I now work with The Cure Starts Now, but will forever be an Unravel supporter…we have the same goal: cure the children. My Unravel bumper sticker is right next to my CSN sticker, and I proudly share awareness everywhere I go. We will find that elusive cure…and when we do, Jennifer will have been a huge part of it, in many more ways than one.

    Sending hugs and love to you and your family always. Hopefully next time I can attend the Texas MNO…I live near Dallas, but had to go to a family reunion on the day of the event, it broke my heart! I sure hope you all bring your glitter back to Texas next year!

  3. It was good to reconnect with you today Libby. I appreciate the honesty and transparency you have. It says a lot about the kind of person you are…no fake or phony. No facade. Just real and raw. My mom is open to talking with you and sharing her story about her daughter, my sister, who also had cancer & left this world too early at the age of 6.

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