Tag: bereaved sibling

services

Services. ..celebration of life.  . whatever we end up calling it will be Friday the 21st. at Valley Christian High school in San Jose at 10:30 a.m. Reception will follow at the same location. Children are welcomed. Clothing. This one really matters to me. Wear whatever you want. Wear what you feel best in. Or most comfortable in. Jammies or a ball gown are both totally acceptable. And please please please allow your children to do the same. 100 Skyway Dr #110, San Jose, CA 95111 If you are looking for a address to send us things our friends have offered their home as a landing spot. The address is 7317 Miller Ave. Gilroy Ca 95020  

no word

I can’t stop crying. And thinking. SO much inside me desperate to pour out. I try to go on facebook to numb my mind. And I see her everywhere and I am thankful. So eternally thankful. . . . and gutted. And scared for it to end. One day everybody will start to move on. You have to. It natural. I can’t. Ever. I felt something with her. A connection and a warmth together in the final moments. And its gone. Its all fucking gone. I am so lonely. Surrounded by nothing but love and prayers. I am so lonely though. It defies all logic. But then again so does the death of a 6 yr old old. My 6yr old. Muscles in my body ache from the voraciousness of my tears. I had a nightmare last night. One I am too scared to share. And one that has made[…]

forever 6

7 children died today from cancer. My child wasn’t one of them. She is already dead. I will blog about the 24 hours leading up to her death. But that will be one I keep just for me. Here though moments . . memories will come up I will share you as they do. Today has been harder than I ever could have imagined. I held her. I stayed with her for over 24 hours . . much of it spent looking in each others eyes. It was. . . well beyond words. I think people have a image of death. . .maybe to ease ourselves. . that its peaceful. In my. . albeit thankfully limited experience  . . its not always. It is raw and messy and gritty and hectic. . . it is beautiful and awe inspiring. . . The 24 hours leading up to her death. The[…]