Today we went to the cemetery. To pick the place for our daughter to be buried. *spoiler alert* We didn’t. But we looked around and got a idea of our options. We each have strong feelings about a few things, so we are working on merging them together…so far..so good. In some ways being there […]
Another day…another layer of grief. Everything seems to bring the tears now. I have no energy. No drive. The little bit of life I feel goes directly to the kids. Truthfully mostly Jonathan. I am so thankful Tony is still home. I don’t think I could manage without him. I said I was preparing for […]
Oh I miss her. Oh how do I miss her. All moments of her… I miss her. And I feel like I have so much to write but I dont know if I have enough clarity in me to get it out. Today was the first “normal” day. And it was beyond hard. I snuggled […]
Wow. This just sucks. I wrote to her dr just now…saying it gets harder and harder every day…I am waiting for the day it gets even just a tiny bit easier…or even just stays the same. Its so hard on a marriage too. My husband and I are truly best friends. So we are rawest […]
A week. Well almost. I keep looking at the clock over the last 24 hrs remembering…and so selfishly longing for that time again. She was in pain and hurting…I hated that. But she was here…I could hold her and kiss her and feel her. I loved that. Am I forgetting it already? Last night as […]
Here is the dark side of what I am feeling and experiencing. So bitterly jealous. 3.5 months. That’s all we got. So many other families get so much more time to know…to pack in life…to get things in order. I know we are making a difference. But how great that difference that would be if […]
I took half of a anxiety pill today. Same kind we gave our 6yr old daughter. She hated them. I hated the feeling even from a half of one. I’m so sorry baby girl. So sorry you even had a need for that kind of medication. Trying to write a …well I’m not calling it […]
Let me start of with a very wide spread thank you. The response to my project violet post…it gave me such a boost tonight. So I need to say thank you.For the meals and snacks. For the messages of love and support. For the family coming to help with the kids or just sit. To […]
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