As yet another 12th comes closer I start to think about her death constantly. About what I was doing and feeling on February 9th. Remember with me.. That ring.. I remember that day. My friend coming to get it to try to save it for me.. How I hated having it off for a few […]
I wonder a lot what I look like to others. You see me and talk to me and I seem relatively normal. I am not. I wonder if people think I am begin over dramatic with my writing. I am not. What I write is my truth. I don’t even understand it. I don’t understand […]
Somebody shared a saying with me that struck a chord. A mother instinctively protects her child. A grieving mother instinctively protects her child’s memory. Few things have been so poignantly accurate for me in any part of this horrible journey. Tony and I talked about it today. About sharing the video of our Julys (the […]
Here is the video Jonathan and I made.. Jennifer in July I made it cute on iMovie but its just a straight video on her here.. But I got it to work so thats a win for me!!
**I tried to publish this earlier today but it didn’t go through** The 4th has proven to be the hardest holiday yet for all of us. Nicholas woke up in a foul mood.. only wanting mommy and he has stayed that way until right now.. up from his nap playing with Daddy while I write. […]
Another holiday looming. ..without her. But its the first year .. so I know people will care. I know they will notice me and try to be extra gentle.. I am thankful for that.. but so fearful for years to come. I think the horrifying truth is hitting me.. Its never going to get better. […]
I realized I never wrote a good DC post.. so here it is. I can’t end a blog without pictures of Jennifer.. so here she is on her first airplane ride. .. …until there is a cure […]
We got the mission statement completed. I should feel happy. I should feel relieved. One thing off my plate. .. But all I can think is 20 weeks. Tomorrow is 20 weeks. .. I have never been so sad. I never knew sadness could permeate to these depths of a person without destroying them. I […]
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