Tag: wyatt

me time

“Me time”. I cannot believe how much that saying has changed. For me now my me time truly consists of grieving my daughter, often in front of a computer screen. Funeral, wedding and hospital visits.. and a few great Unravel meetings have left little “me” time.. though. Last week I ended up in L&D with contractions 2-3 minutes apart. I avoided it all day.. hoping I could somehow gain control and stop them from getting closer and closer, but by 9pm it was very apparent I couldn’t. I packed a bag and called Tony home from work and we headed out. We got there unsure if they would stop labor at 34+ weeks. I told the nurses they had to since we didn’t even have a carseat yet for the baby, we really thought Charlotte was going to be our last. (Some AMAZING friends have since gotten us one!). It[…]

toot toot

I can’t say for sure what it is.. But I am struggling… feels like I am barely treading water. Like my every other breath is sucking in deep murky water instead of air. I don’t know if it’s Tony working nights.. or waiting for Wyatt’s time to come.. or hormones. .. But I feel like I am thrust back down. It’s hard to get out again. Hard to want to do much. And I feel like it’s so wrong. Like having Wyatt just joining Jennifer.. hurting for his family and being reminded again so vividly how precious life is I should be a better more patient mom. Like it should reinvigorate my efforts with Unravel. I feel like its the opposite. My nerves so over charged right now I am short with the kids.. I am struggling to engage with them. I don’t want to do Unravel business.. It just[…]

Wyatt

Another little boy died from DIPG.. well so many have.. but one in particular. He looks eerily like my boys. And his mom and I have gotten very close. His name is Wyatt Norell. He was just a baby really. I have been awash in so many emotions in the tail end of his struggle and since he joined my Jennifer. So surreal to be on the complete other side of equation. .. With my phone in my hand.. volume turned up and heart constantly in my throat waiting for the phone to ring. The first time I talked to her on the 12th.. they both now will eternally share that number.. I hung up and collapsed in my kitchen. A sobbing mess. My boys came into me. And just hugged me. Looking at me with such love and concern. “What is it mommy?” So I told them. A little[…]

small change

I have so much to do right now for Unravel. I am trying to get a few of my blogs selected in different contests.. a way to reach a new audience. We are trying to get a informational video ready and a new brochure and 2 MNOs and so many other things I should be working on. Including our Facebook page. But instead when I opened up FB to go to our page I first noticed there was post by my friend Heather. .. a link to her blog post about recent photo session she had done. You can look here.. I encourage you to look. Fall in love with this family the way I have.  And then get so angry. Because it doesn’t have to happen. I look at this mom. Who is now one of my close friends and my heart breaks. Because I know the ache she[…]