*I wrote this last week and didn’t realize I hadn’t published it* There is a undercurrent in our family right now. I am not sure what is causing it. I didn’t even realize it until I sat down to write my most recent blog.. The only thing I know for sure is its all different […]
Up and down and backwards.. tumbling over and over again. That was my today. I have felt every emotion possible today. But I am ending it.. in a quiet house with a few hitting me all at once.. all overwhelming in their own right .. Sadness. Dread. Pride. Gratitude. .. an odd mixture. thank you […]
I feel like I should write.. like I want to write but the words won’t come to me.. neither will sleep it seems this week either. I still feel like I have so much to write I don’t want to forget.. about Seattle and our bereavement camp. But those memories seem so distant to me […]
Its pretty amazing how one moment can trigger one memory.. that then triggers a landslide of them. I was at the CVS pharmacy waiting to pick up my prescription. I moved to the side where the toy aisles are and I remembered being on a phone call there.. standing right in that very spot. So […]
Yes. Yes. Yes. I am eternally grateful for the yeses. And eternally sorry for the no’s. A year ago we did a last minute tea party. At a fancy tea party place. We had a lot at our little apartment together. It was certainly a daily ritual and one of my most cherished memories. She […]
Another 12th.. still not getting any easier. Today was filled with chores. .. Chores like breathing, which today I found so difficult to do. I felt like I was living in jello.. every movement slow deliberate and so very hard to execute. I woke up angry this morning. Not wanting to hear any more “I’m […]
Memories are all I have left.. Its what us bereaved parents cling to. but when they hit unexpectedly it can be devastating. I feel like I have been hit over and over again today, and I feel so weak. I rarely leave the house to run errands anymore. Her memory seems to haunt me everywhere […]
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