Tag: hospice

roses in the ocean

  **I don’t often re-read what I write. But tonight I did. And this posting is a mutant writing. With makes it a perfect depiction of what its like in my head. Where nothing seems to fit together or make sense coming from one person.. And I am trying and failing not to freak out but all of my pictures are getting distorted as I upload them from my “good camera” luckily I snapped a few to text to Daddy with my phone.. So my apologies for lack of pictures. ** Jennifer loved the beach. So very much. We live so close to it. But I almost never took her. because I always had a baby or was pregnant.. or .. well really time. Its because I counted on time to do it later. I really wish I had taken her more often. Tony left on Sunday so its just been me[…]

will she

5 months. 5 months. 5 months. ..no .. please .. Once the clock strikes midnight I can no longer say 4 months.. it becomes a whole month more.. Today was a good day. We walked to the library , first time we have been there since last summer…I planned to go once she was in school.. but never got around to it. We packed a picnic and ate behind the building. . .  Jonathan remembered from 2 Halloweens ago.. when he had just turned 3 that we went trick or treating there in a nearby building with her preschool class. I try to placate myself with the thought that they won’t remember this time.. but then he pulls something like that.. A strong memory from when he was so much younger.. and I worry. I try to do things she would have liked these days. These days I am suffering inside without[…]

love of a father

Guest Blog by Jennifer’s Dad   Libby asked me to write something from my perspective. My wife is an amazing writer so I ask you to cut me a little slack 🙂 I guess I will start from the beginning…Libby and I met at a friends wedding about 16 years ago. She was in the wedding and I came up from San Diego to attend. Turned out we had some of the same friends all through out high school, but I had never met her (we always say if we knew each other then, we would not be here together now). We would talk every once in a while when I would call up to the “hangout house” and she would be there and we would grab a drink when I would be in town, but we were just friends. I moved back up to the bay in 2002 and[…]