Tag: chid loss

s’mores

Today I feel like I am grieving me. The old me. My old life. The woman, friend, wife and mother I used to be.. I went to a beautiful little girls funeral today. I sat and listened to how brave and strong she was.. and I wanted to just be grieving for her. I didn’t want to be able to understand the depths of pain. I miss not being able to imagine what its like to lose your child. I realized today though that this is part of my new life.. part of the new me. Children’s funerals. I picked up the kids and wanted to try to make the best of our day. To find a new groove of this new mom I have become. I tried hard. To put some “emotional money in the bank”. We did a craft together and played ball then I put on a show[…]

Fathers day morning

Heavenly mothers day worked well for me today.. but heavenly fathers day sticks in my throat.  I haven’t figured out yet what I want to say to my husband.. what settles well. So far looking him in the eyes and just saying happy fathers day seems to convey all the emotions I am feeling. He is my perfect husband. The only partner I could imagine on this ride. He is a the daddy I always wanted for my kids.. in happiness and joy… in grief and loss.. In her life and in her death. .. For this man of mine I am eternally grateful.   ********************* ****************** ****************************** ********************************* **** My last blog was hard and gritty. I know it was scary for others to read. But here is the take away from it all. .. I will never do something to hurt myself. I can’t wait til my time[…]