My days seem to be so full of questions. Unrelenting questions that most will never ever have an answer.
Sometimes I wonder.. why do things happen the way they do… Why does she send me the things I believe are signs the way she does. .
A few days ago I was at Starbucks and saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt I knew from a distance was about brain tumors. .. I debating.. Maybe it was for an adult. Maybe she wouldn’t respond well to my coming up to her.
.. but I did. Just like I asked all of you to do. I walked up to her and told her wy I approached her. Her granddaughter had a brain tumor. .. And I felt a rush of kinship. .. Except it wasn’t. Her tumor was operable and treatable. .. And she was an adult. I think because of that momentary imaginary connection it was a sharp let down.
I stumbled over my words as I started to share our story.. Concentrating on simply staying upright.
Not so much today ‘why’ did we get the diagnosis and path we did.. Today my ‘why’ was why put this in my face at this moment?
Because my stomach hasn’t seem to uncurl all day since then.
And I came home. .. and found this laying out.
Where could it have come from.. Why? Why all of this today??
Questions.. followed by a loud silence. .. Only to be filled by more questions.
i cannot wait Jennifer
to get to you
and ask ALL of you…
…until there is a cure..