Tag: sick kids

broken trust

He has lost confidence in me. It’s not that he blames me.. its just he doesn’t trust me the way he used to. He questions more.. He pushes more. He checks more. I know he doesn’t blame me… but my husband doesn’t have faith in me. It’s not on purpose. He likely doesn’t even know its happening to him.. to us. But it is. I have noticed it happening for awhile now. At first I told myself maybe it was just me being sensitive.. or him just being overly cautious. It’s a subtle change but a heartbreaking one. And once I recognized it I have struggled to over come the shock of it. The emergence of a new side effect of childhood cancer.. Because I don’t trust me either. I haven’t heard others talk about it. . Are we the only ones??  I’d like to say no.. I always tell[…]

ultimate graduation

Its been a really full past few days. So much going on with Unravel. 2 MNO coming up and a golf tournament.. A few different interviews and our fluttering kits going on sale.. Its been easy to escape into it all.. Its been hard to escape into it all.. Will I ever not need to actively grieve? Will I ever be ok to go more than a day without crying without a crushing weight bearing down on me? I don’t know.. I really don’t. But I am starting to worry I may never. That losing my eldest child is truly so horrible I will never not have to succumb. . even just a little every day. Along with Unravel we had sickness that has kept us homebound for several days. Jonathan missed his last day of preschool because of it. That was ok though, because he seems to be battling[…]