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meant to be

May 26, 2016May 27, 2016Unravel Pediatric Cancerburying a child, grieving after 2 years, heaven, latest postanger after child loss, anger at god, bc/ad, bereaved parent, bereaved sibling, child death, child death god, child hospice, child loss, childhood cancer, connection with dead child, cross fit, crossfire, crossfit and grief, Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma, DIPG, faith after child loss, god, god doesn't answer prayers, nicholas preschool graduation, pediatric cancer, prayers, praying after child loss, preschool graduation, regrets, sibling loss13 Comments

**As I was typing the last word in this entry this song started playing.. Open it in another window as you read this.. Because I think she wants me to share her message to me, with you..** ok buggers. ok baby.. ok.. i love you. i love you. i love you I was talking with a friend today.. a new friend from my new life. My AD life.. This friends job is to fundraise for researchers.. well kinda. Her goal is really to raise money to save kids. To stop them from suffering.. from dying. . Its a big deal. It matters and it can be all consuming. The pressure can be overwhelming at times. I get it. So much. .. except I don’t. .. She asked how I dealt with it. Since we are so similar. How do I cope with that anxiety and pressure. The need to do[…]

script

April 24, 2014Love4JLKUncategorizedchildhood cancer, DIPG, god, guilt, helping a bereaved family, mommy guilt, prayers, support group, what not to say to bereaved families62 Comments

My kids love going out to get the mail.. and now they love getting to open it. Today we got our memberships to Happy Hollow.. a semi local, preschool aged theme park. I excitedly opened it… pulled out the cards and rolled my eyes at one missing.. till the truth knocked me back. It wasn’t a membership card that is missing.. it’s my child. Moments like that are sometimes the worst… the ones that surprise me seem to leave the biggest scars. scars of her life..scars of my love for her. I shoved the papers back in the envelope and there they sit. Normally I would be putting them directly into my wallet to be ready… But now they are a scar.. every time I look at them I will remember that moment.. that snuck up on me.. tapped me on the shoulder… and knocked me to the ground. We[…]

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