Tag: nightmares

dreams vs nightmares

I am a jumble of stuff.. of emotions.. of thoughts.. Today I said to a friend “…taking care of 4 young kids.. ” then I stopped myself. I had to brace myself. Grip the edge of the kitchen counter to keep from doing what I wanted to do.. what my body was trying to do. crumble And then my friend said “you are. You are completely still a mom of 4 young kids.” And so we talked about it. How in so many ways my mind and heart are overcome with her more now than they were when she was alive. I fear sleep now. I had my second dream of her that I remember. .. dream.. i wish I so desperately want her to come to me in my dreams. But not like this.. I want her freed from the nightmare images. I want her different than the ones I can’t erase[…]