Tag: how couples grieve differently

the pendulum swings..

February 16, 2018Unravel Pediatric Cancer12th, burying a child, child loss, childhood cancer, DIPG, latest postanger at child loss, child loss, DIPG, grieving after 4 years, grieving and parenting, grieving couple, grieving dad, how couples grieve differently, how to grieve successfully, surviving pediatric cancer5 Comments

4 years. When you become a parent time becomes so flexible.. You can look at your 4 year old and feel like they are still so little.. yet be completely unable to remember life without them.. My guess is that never changes?? I think that maybe even my Mom looks at me like that.. However, I do know my grief is just like that.. I cannot believe its been 4 years.. the pain is still so raw and so fresh.. especially right now that I find myself wondering if I can really survive this for the rest of my life.. and.. I cannot believe its only been 4 years. I forget what it was like to parent a healthy.. living, breathing Jennifer. I hate that. I hate not only that its my truth but I hate giving that part of my pain life.. That part that feels like I can’t[…]

..because life keeps happening..

February 4, 2016Unravel Pediatric Cancergrieving after 1 year, grieving after 2 years2 years, 4 year old grief, 4 year old sibling loss, anniversary of child loss, bereaved sibling, child hospice, child loss, childhood cancer, couples grieving differently, difference in make and female grief, Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma, DIPG, grief over a sibling you never met, growing up in grief, helping a bereaved family, how couples grieve differently, male grief, marriage after child loss, pediatric cancer, remembering dead child, sibling loss, work and child loss12 Comments

It’s coming. I can feel. Even if I didn’t know it. Even if I didn’t remember it I can feel it. physical .. unrelenting.. grief.. A heaviness in my chest. A strain on my back. Ears always ringing.. just a bit. Heart beating faster and harder. Eyes stinging.. always on the verge of emptying. Another year. .. because life keeps happening. Why couldn’t I save her? Why couldn’t I relieve her pain? Stop her suffering? did i at all baby? was it ever not excruciating? This year is so different though. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. What made sense for all of us and I was able to make it happen. There was freedom in that. Freedom. Strength. Comfort in having a plan that felt right But not this year. This year its all up in the air. And nothing not a damned thing feels right. ..because[…]