Tag: her voice

seasons

The weather is changing. … the time changed. All these things signaling a new time approaching is hard for me… because I both remember this time with her and because I know another season is coming.. another one without her. We have this amazing walking path right behind our house.. so many evenings I spent with Jennifer and Jonathan.. then Nicholas and then Charlotte, walking and talking and exploring on the levy path. Sometimes they were in the stroller and we tried to go far.. sometimes they walked and we seemed to barely move. But we always had fun .. and made memories.. Not so much of individual moments but more of the essence I wanted their childhood to imprint on their memories and mine. I want to still be able to do that with my surviving children. I still want that to be .. at least a piece of[…]

because of her

Another 12th.. experienced and gone.. Much like my daughter. The 12th is so bittersweet for me. Its a day to truly go back.. remember and reconnect .. to feel the overwhelming sadness over her being gone for another milestone in time somehow thats a good thing for me.. but then the ache that the distance is ever-growing between us. We got up yesterday and I asked Tony to take us, me and baby Charlotte and our memories to the beach. We went for breakfast and walked on the beach together. I cried a little .. off and on.. We talked a little off and on.. We bought a ton of candy. It was good. It was exactly what we needed.. time together as a couple. Our concentration being on each other.. not a non-profit.. not raising awareness. .. just each other. Husband and wife.. grieving mom and dad. On the[…]