I think grief is like the ocean. .. Powerful and constant. It comes in and goes out. Sometimes a storm passes and it becomes violent and dark. .. sometimes it is calm and peaceful. But it is always moving, always changing, and you have to keep kicking or you will drown. That can be exhausting.. I […]
I’m jealous. Of things I never ever would have imagined feeling jealousy over. But cancer has changed me. Losing my daughter has changed me. I see the bonds other cancer families have created through time spent wandering the halls of the hospital and I want that. When I see them getting together.. those surviving and […]
**** This is written by Renee, Unravels Executive Director. This blog is a worthwhile and humbling read for me because I can’t pretend to know what its like to have to bear witness to a families suffering the way Renee did. And I think its important for all of us bereaved parents to get a glimpse to the other […]
The 13th is actually the worst day for me I think. . That whole day after thing. When Jennifer died.. that first 12th.. I tried to stay up until midnight .. but I physically couldn’t do it. I knew that after that day was done would be the start of a lifetime of days of […]
It’s coming. I can feel. Even if I didn’t know it. Even if I didn’t remember it I can feel it. physical .. unrelenting.. grief.. A heaviness in my chest. A strain on my back. Ears always ringing.. just a bit. Heart beating faster and harder. Eyes stinging.. always on the verge of emptying. Another […]
Grinding. Heavy. Sharp. Never the words I wold have imagined myself using to describe Christmas time. Short. Sensitive. Hurting. Never the words I would have imagined my husband using to describe us this time of year. Everyday is just hard. No other way to describe it. The ache for her is palpable. The memories of […]
Why? Why? oh jennifer. i just want to hold you. i wonder what you would be like this Thanksgiving. I wanted to write a positive post. One about how all the many things I am grateful for. My living children. My reason for working for hard for Unravel. Because I need to try to keep […]
Every morning for the past 616 days, when I open my closet a pink and grey striped sweatshirt is the first thing I see. The last day I wore it was Feb 11, 2014. It was the day I said goodbye to Jennifer. A day where I thought I could hold it together, but instead, […]
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