Tag: gut instinct

broken trust

He has lost confidence in me. It’s not that he blames me.. its just he doesn’t trust me the way he used to. He questions more.. He pushes more. He checks more. I know he doesn’t blame me… but my husband doesn’t have faith in me. It’s not on purpose. He likely doesn’t even know its happening to him.. to us. But it is. I have noticed it happening for awhile now. At first I told myself maybe it was just me being sensitive.. or him just being overly cautious. It’s a subtle change but a heartbreaking one. And once I recognized it I have struggled to over come the shock of it. The emergence of a new side effect of childhood cancer.. Because I don’t trust me either. I haven’t heard others talk about it. . Are we the only ones??  I’d like to say no.. I always tell[…]

calling

I’m trying to follow that little voice inside my head a lot more lately. I would have used to call it my gut instinct… but now I attribute it to more than that. I had been finding little things that reminded me of one of Jennifer’s little friends…and her mom…We had. . well fallen apart through all of this. And it hurt me. A lot. I hear its normal. I hear it happens a lot to friendships of woman who have lost children . But these little signs and nudges the past few days made me want to call her today. To say lets talk.. So I did. We did. And I am glad. I can’t say for sure what is leading me… or if I am just doing a better job now, following that intuition. But so far its been really good for me. If I feel like I[…]