We got the mission statement completed. I should feel happy. I should feel relieved. One thing off my plate. .. But all I can think is 20 weeks. Tomorrow is 20 weeks. .. I have never been so sad. I never knew sadness could permeate to these depths of a person without destroying them. I […]
It is so hard to come home to a house without her. . Its hard to leave and feel like I am leaving her behind. .. It is hard to come home.. to hug my boys.. and have my arms ache so desperately for the one hug I will never have the luck of getting […]
I don’t want to write tonight.. I don’t want to go there.. here. To remember where I was 4 months ago tonight. Steeling myself for the something so strong .. it dissolves steel. It started to hit this morning.. driving to a friends house I cried silent.. tears… but since then I have run from […]
Looking through the pictures for that last post really got to me.. About what pediatric cancer really looks like.. Its not just bald kids.. or swollen faces. Or feeding tubes and barf bags.. Often times there is something even worse that all of that.. being left behind. And […]
She ate a popsicle. She loved it. And she slept. A lot. She had one good 5 minute wakeful period and all 4 kids got to be together opening a gift bag that had been dropped off for them. It was bliss. And this is what I did. I have no idea if it will […]
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