Tag: bereavement counseling

without a definition

Last night I went to see a very popular tv medium.. popular and from the looks of it insanely wealthy. I went with my sister and her friends and my bereaved mommy friend. We were up in the nose bleeds of a large amphitheater ($70.00)..so she came nowhere near us. But of course I couldn’t help but hope…If its true.. if this gift of hers is a reality then I am insanely jealous.. what I wouldn’t give to be able to communicate with my daughter again.. we talked about losing our kids.. about our families and how its changed everything … and about our daughters. Oh how I miss that girl of mine… and hers too. I think I get what people say to me now.. that they miss this girl nicknamed JLK that they never met. ..because I miss this girl that I never knew.. A blonde haired mini[…]

apparently

A good therapist and an attentive husband can really fuck up your morning! We had counseling this morning. I figured it would mostly be focused on Tony’s concerns for going back to work…Apparently not. Somehow we ended up on the topic of my guilt.. the subject of my blog last night that Tony doesn’t even read anymore.. This guilt can be so overpowering for me. It was the first time I really cried in a session. .. how I wish I could have her back to keep making mistakes, then making up for them again.   Its the same old record over and over again.. I am forever changed by her death.. . and I wish she wasn’t missing out on these lessons I have learned. I wish her death wasn’t the catalyst for me improving It’s not huge things.. I wasn’t a bad mom before.. Its just in some[…]