Tag: all 4 kids

Angry

Today was hard. Will I ever not feel that way? So much of today was spent talking with nurses, pharmacists, and thankfully our great docs. Her oncologist from Stanford cried with me today. I don’t do that. I am a private crier. I have a need for Jennifer to eat, at least one more time. She might regain some of what she lost. She is hungry, but scared to eat. So tomorrow we start fresh to try to get on top of this awful vomiting and nausea. I hope to get her to eat. At least with this new plan I’ll know I did everything and didn’t just–this isn’t the right word– “quit.” She hates meds by mouth. Always has. So tomorrow we try a new path. I know it’s only been a day, but when time is this limited, when a tumor is this hungry and fierce, a day[…]

chosen

Today started beautifully. She called for me in the middle of the night to bring her into our bed. I happily did. We slept like we did when she was a baby…wrapped in each other. I breathed in her scent. She rubbed Tonys head and face and pulled him into her. She held her baby sister. She even drank some water. Tony brought her the radio he bought last night and she loved it. Then we headed to Palo Alto.   I am going to cut to the chase. Tonight I need to be with Tony and he needs to be with me . . . but we agreed to update on here. We belong to each other . .   What I posted about new tumors wasn’t exactly right. Its not brand new different kinds of tumors in her frontal lobes . . . Its a progression of sorts[…]