Tag: tumor progression

Am I?

A year ago was the last day.. likely in my entire life I will have felt hope. Hope. I miss it. Color I miss that too. It seems I see the world always through a haze of gray. A truth in everything I see.. That my daughter is dead. …and I can’t do a damn thing about it. It was a year ago tonight we got the phone call about tumor progression. I remember what she was wearing… a blue shirt that said in sparkle letters.. girls have more fun. i hate that shirt. i love that shirt. I remember making banana muffins with her. She has asked for them specifically. It was just the two of us that made them. The boys sat at the counter and watched. We pretended we were hosting a cooking show. She smiled. She stood. How hard was that for her I wonder? How[…]

butterfly

Today was almost all family time..made a immensely helpful phone call on the way home with a woman a long ago friend connected me with.. its amazing what just asking for help can turn up.. Since it was Tony’s last day off of work with the modified schedule, I told him to decide what sounded like fun. He said the San Francisco zoo.. we didn’t get to see the whole thing last time. It was a great choice. It gave us time to be away.. with cooler weather and do some forced nap time for the kiddos. I took Jennifer to the Oakland zoo once when I was pregnant with Jonathan. . so I feel a tinge of guilt over never taking her to this zoo.. Walking out I noticed a sign about donors.. I have never really looked at those kinds of things before. .. and I thought  […]