Tag: parade

rain on my parade

There are so many different kinds of parades .. some we sit through and watch.. some we march in and some we shut our windows and close our curtains to try and drown out the noise. Last year today we were coming down from such a high. A never even dreamt of, dream come true, for all of us really. She got to be our towns grand marshall, she got to sit right next to Santa in his sleigh as they rode through town. And the rest of us got to ride along with her. I remember well each of my kids that night. Each surprisingly different than we ever would have anticipated… ok except Charlotte she was exactly how we thought she would be. Easy and go with the flow. I even handed her off to a friend of mine at the very end of the parade and she[…]

why

Sometimes its shocking how deep the pain is. I know that sounds ridiculous. All of this journey is wildly different than I thought it would be… Yesterday we were struggling.. as a couple.. as parents… as people. Some friends must have just sensed it and taken our boys for a few hours. We needed that time together to just talk… and fight. .. and grieve together. Its hard to carve at that time as a couple and do the other things we need to get done. Then I got some alone time.. to totally dissolve. Crying so hard my knees lost the strength to hold me up anymore and I collapsed… … missing her with a physical forcefulness. Another one of those surprising things is that almost as quickly as it seems to take over.. it leaves me. Like my body cannot physically withstand an onslaught longer than 6 minutes.[…]