Tag: death

simple acts

I just want to write something about my post from last night I have gotten quite a few comments about it. .. All opinions expressed here are my own.. They may not fit for every bereaved parent.. but I share so that people reading can know what its like.. 2.5 months out in one mama’s head.. I know..I truly appreciate how much people want to help and comfort me… .I know that what is said is only coming from a place of goodness and wanting to help.. I write to sort it out in my own head.. and because it might help others to read my thoughts, to sort their own.. and especially because I know how scary it can be to speak with somebody in my shoes.. hopefully sharing what does and does not work for me will help ease some of those fears.. provide a little bit of a[…]

foggy

Fog. I feel like I am living in a fog  .. Like is this all real? Sometimes it feels like I am looking at somebody else’s life..and so hard to admit “out loud” sometimes it even feels like its somebody else’s daughter. Like it cant really be that my daughter died. I don’t know how to explain it or even what to make of it. Frankly it scares me… Maybe it just shows how  disturbing all of this is… that my mind pulls back…lets a fog roll in to blanket this tragedy.. ..am attempt to protect my mind and save my sanity. Its incredibly disorientating. Because then all of the sudden…the truth blasts me. Something will happen that allows me to see with a clarity that destroys me. Today one such occasion was the butter. When we lived at my parents, throughout her radiation, we brought butter her own butter.[…]