Tag: sunset

wave

Sometimes it feels like we are just sitting on the shore. .. feeling wave after wave of emotions hit us.. sometimes the current so strong it feels like it just might pull us out into open water. In the past few days I have felt so many emotions.. anger and fear.. heartache and despair. Tony’s birthday was on Thursday. It was a hard day for him which I expected.. for me which I also expected and for Jonathan which was unexpected. .. I didn’t know until the next day that it was also hard for Nicholas.. not until he crawled into my lap and reached for my necklace that has Jennifers picture and held it. He didn’t look up at me but simply said I miss sissy mommy. wave.. I know it impacts him. I know he hurts in his own way, but I think sometimes I forget. I think[…]

Tahoe in pictures

We had a good trip. I think in part because I did so much hard grieving before we left. The 3 days leading up to the trip were pretty miserable for me … and in turn my kids and husband. My family drives my bonkers sometimes. I get my feelings hurt.. and I am sure I hurt feelings in return.But my biggest take away from the trip… I love my family so very much and they love me.. my husband and my babies. All 4 of them.  If we can raise my 3 living to be the kids, teens and young adults my nephews/nieces are .. well then I will consider it a job very well done. I just wish that my Jennifer could have been given the opportunity to grow with this incredible mix of people. She would have learned so much.. and I believe taught us so much.[…]