Tag: regrets after death

3 years… almost..

Almost 3 years. I said those words aloud to another DIPG parent last week, a Dad just starting out on their journey.. and I haven’t been able to shake it. .. 3 years. Its been almost 3 years since I last held my daughter. Since I last smoothed the hair from her face.. And whispered in ears.. Almost 3 years since I felt her slight weight in my arms… I wonder. So much I wonder if I helped her. If I said the right things to her.. I wonder if she felt safe.. if she was angry? Was she scared? were you scared baby? I don’t know how to not let the slow onslaught of questions overtake me.  I am trying. I am really trying to stay above.. but the waters are rising. . A slow and constant pounding … a steady and growing swell of grief is swirling around[…]