Tag: preparing for christmas

this christmas

We made it through the holidays.. It wasn’t pretty a lot of the time.. But really thats not my goal anymore. Its just to make it through. To celebrate the joys.. and be ok with the sads. To say good riddance to the passing of a year without her and try to not dread the start of year another year without her.. Christmas was just a crap day. One where everything seemed to just go wrong. … From toys breaking.. to meals not cooking right.. Tony even had to go into work. The culmination of the day was the kicker..  I turned the corner from our kitchen to the hallway to be greeted by water. Charlotte had stuffed too much toilet paper and for 20 mins it kept flushing.. But maybe that was a good thing.. Because we all banded together to clean it up.. and keep little hands from[…]

10 months

  JENNIFER JENNIFER JENNIFER jennifer.. I miss you. With every single cell of my body right now. I knew my heart would break when you left. I didn’t know it was even possible for my whole body to break.. for my heart to be so shattered .. for my soul to cry out for you. I watched your video tonight. The one we played at your services. And I wanted to scratch my own skin off. Pull my soul out of this broken body.. and throw it up to you. 10 months. Seriously. How is that even possible? Its like it was yesterday .. and forever ago. How am I going to make it through Christmas? I don’t want to. I don’t want to do it without you. I don’t think I can. Im not strong enough Jennifer. I look at your stocking. I want a little girl to shop[…]