Tag: okizu

Okizu again

Camp Okizu. What a gift this place is to families impacted by pediatric cancer. . From the child themselves to the parents to the siblings.. something individual and special for each and everyone. As soon as I got back from Seattle it was time to jump ion the car and drive to our family bereavement camp. The kids were great on the drive and Tony and I did a great job working together to prep for it. I get lost walking from my kitchen to the bathroom .. I have no sense of direction. But I remembered so much of this drive. We made it a year ago. So quickly after she died. On the drive this time I felt so much older, so much more seasoned in the world of child loss. Just a year.. Its still feels so new.. Yet it is engrained in me, a complete piece[…]

weather or not..

The weather this morning was perfection for me..  It eases me. Overcast, cold, cloudy, chilly, gray. But I feel like if I stand outside.. especially if I run then I can somehow find her again. I find myself yearning for this weather.. longing for it .. Because when its here I feel like I can take a really deep breath .. What a gift that is for me now. I leave for Seattle on Wednesday to help lend my voice to one of Dr. Olsens fundraisers. I am so looking forward to the weather! This weekend was quite different though.. and even though we did a bereavement program I found it hard to find her in the heat.. So ironic though.. she loves the heat and the sun. The program was pretty awesome for the boys. They each got to ride full size horses.. They looked so tiny, but they[…]

challenge by choice

Bereavement camp.. Who knew right?? I had no idea places like this existed.. actually let’s be honest I had no idea there was a need for a place like this to exist. I knew kids died.. I even had an idea a few died from cancer.. but that’s rare. .. certainly too rare to have a camp for families… Bittersweet. I hate that I was wrong.. but here writing and remembering our weekend I am so selfishly glad that I wasn’t. It was really good for us. I am going to try not to write a ton about it. In case somebody else attends the camp at some point.. . and because it really wasn’t one of those weekend that I feel a need to rehash it.. . a lot got worked out.. or my mind is still processing. .. so potentially it will pop out. Also we forgot my[…]