I think maybe I am starting to find my groove. Find my way in this new life of mine.. Figuring out a way to carry myself through the difficult times. My body .. my heart know what is coming and I think I am unintentionally filling my tank.. and my reserves .. Because I find […]
I miss you Jennifer. I wish I had something more.. something deeper and more profound to say. Words fail me though. . Because I constantly miss her.. Its always there.. sometimes just a subtle current. But not always.. it scares me how quickly the tide can rise up and drown me in my own sorrow.. […]
Those sudden surprise moments.. The shock of being unprepared is like jumping into the freezing cold water of grief. .. It steals your breathe and even when you start to regain it.. its stays sharp and ragged. Your heart is beating hard and fast and you look around disoriented. .. fight or flight they call […]
It’s coming. I can feel. Even if I didn’t know it. Even if I didn’t remember it I can feel it. physical .. unrelenting.. grief.. A heaviness in my chest. A strain on my back. Ears always ringing.. just a bit. Heart beating faster and harder. Eyes stinging.. always on the verge of emptying. Another […]
So why are you doing this? (the whole fluttering campaign) To keep the promise you made to Jennifer? (Unravel itself) I was asked that today in a interview. I wish I could say yes. But its simply not the truth. I am doing it because I am selfish and I know it could be another […]
As yet another 12th comes closer I start to think about her death constantly. About what I was doing and feeling on February 9th. Remember with me.. That ring.. I remember that day. My friend coming to get it to try to save it for me.. How I hated having it off for a few […]
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