Today I feel like I am grieving me. The old me. My old life. The woman, friend, wife and mother I used to be.. I went to a beautiful little girls funeral today. I sat and listened to how brave and strong she was.. and I wanted to just be grieving for her. I didn’t […]
I don’t want to write tonight.. I don’t want to go there.. here. To remember where I was 4 months ago tonight. Steeling myself for the something so strong .. it dissolves steel. It started to hit this morning.. driving to a friends house I cried silent.. tears… but since then I have run from […]
Maybe I shouldn’t read other bereaved mom blogs. I can’t help but compare. Wonder what is wrong with me. In some ways it actually scares me..How they seem to be able to find comfort in the pain.. while I am .. Utterly. Completely. Shattered. She is gone. That was the sound track of me today. […]
Let me first start by sharing that Wes from Coast Range Cross Fit is in the games this weekend.. we would be cheering him on.. and in awe of all the athletes anyways.. but him wearing a Unravel Pediatric Cancer shirt gave a little extra boost! Such a full day. It started off with a […]
I woke.. just a few minutes before the birthday girl. Those moments alone were so necessary. I went to her and wished her a happy birthday… I tried to steel myself for the onslaught of the day. We waited for the boys to wake up then we went together to see what we had decorated […]
The next day.. Other parents at our bereavement said the Monday after camp is hard… I thought we would slide past that since we are still fully immersed in child loss … no breaks. This weekend wasn’t a rare chance to talk about her death for us.. we still get to do that a lot.. […]
Bereavement camp.. Who knew right?? I had no idea places like this existed.. actually let’s be honest I had no idea there was a need for a place like this to exist. I knew kids died.. I even had an idea a few died from cancer.. but that’s rare. .. certainly too rare to have […]
We did crossfit today. A local place … coast range crossfit has been beyond generous in gifting us a memberships. It’s the first time since I have known him that I have seen Tony truly excited about exercising .. I think it will be crucial component of his healing process. Being active was even a “homework” […]
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