Tag: her desk

balancing emotions

I started cleaning out her room. I think just getting out my fears and my emotions in the last blog readied me to do it. I had thought of it all.. balanced mine and Tonys dueling emotions. I haven’t cried like this is a long time. Day after day of intense crying. I think now I am just emptied.. drained. I can’t believe how hard it can be 16 months out. I know logically its nothing in a lifetime without her.. I know how unnatural it is to lose a child so I shouldn’t expect the grief to be anything remotely like what I have know before.. But still it surprises me how voracious.. how violent the grief can be. Broken blood vessels .. my shirt soaked down the front. And this time something new. My body so opposed to what it was taking in I threw up.. again and[…]