Tag: harder and easier

jello

This grief. Its so different than I thought it would be. Its so different than any other grief I have ever experienced. One where the color can break through. . . This time it doesn’t. .. I have my doubt that it ever truly will. Tony and I talked about this on our trip. How is is not how we imagined it would be at all.. It is both easier and harder. In the past, with the worst life had thrown at me.. I hurt.. horribly at times.. but then would slowly rebuild… never able to fully return to the deepest point of that hurt. This time is so different. I am not just broken down .. I am dissolved. Wildly differently than I have ever experienced or could imagine… more like .. like jello I guess. I can be a solid, albeit a jiggy solid, when needed to be..[…]