Tag: grieving mom

s’mores

Today I feel like I am grieving me. The old me. My old life. The woman, friend, wife and mother I used to be.. I went to a beautiful little girls funeral today. I sat and listened to how brave and strong she was.. and I wanted to just be grieving for her. I didn’t want to be able to understand the depths of pain. I miss not being able to imagine what its like to lose your child. I realized today though that this is part of my new life.. part of the new me. Children’s funerals. I picked up the kids and wanted to try to make the best of our day. To find a new groove of this new mom I have become. I tried hard. To put some “emotional money in the bank”. We did a craft together and played ball then I put on a show[…]

please baby please

I have been avoiding writing tonight. I am struggling with blogging.. because right now I am just emotionally exhausted.. I know when I write I am forced to go into it.. I feel the storm brewing and so much of me wants to run.. and never look back. So I was wasting time on facebook. And I read the update I was so hopeful wasn’t coming about another local girl who was fighting cystic fibrosis.. her parents said goodbye to her tonight. Caley is forever 12 . And somehow it made me want to write.. to be honest with my struggles.. what its like 4 months and a day out. How its still just getting harder and harder. How in the beginning I was so blissfully numb.. how now it feels like daily I am being drug further down into reality. Tony was in a golf tournament today.. now headed to[…]

danced

I did it. I think I did ok. Most importantly though I really enjoyed it.  For me this was a bit of a test to see how I did with public speaking and if I did ok.. did it feel right. ..? My goal was to hopefully make a change. I am so grateful that the ladies that run Mamas Night Out were willing to take a chance on me and giving me the mic.  It is my sincere hope that I am awarded the opportunity to speak and share again .. in any capacity. So if you have a venue or gathering in which I could be of help… or that I could speak to share, not only our story but also the truths of pediatric cancer funding and statistics or other portions of our story..please please let me know. Tony and I are both feeling like this is[…]