Tag: grieving dad

the pendulum swings..

4 years. When you become a parent time becomes so flexible.. You can look at your 4 year old and feel like they are still so little.. yet be completely unable to remember life without them.. My guess is that never changes?? I think that maybe even my Mom looks at me like that.. However, I do know my grief is just like that.. I cannot believe its been 4 years.. the pain is still so raw and so fresh.. especially right now that I find myself wondering if I can really survive this for the rest of my life.. and.. I cannot believe its only been 4 years. I forget what it was like to parent a healthy.. living, breathing Jennifer. I hate that. I hate not only that its my truth but I hate giving that part of my pain life..  That part that feels like I can’t[…]

Everybody grieves

Theres that popular kids book everybody poops.. I think I should write one called everybody grieves. Because this weekend that has been so apparent in my family. The ways we are all hurting. .. and all reaching for Jennifer, trying to connect. Waking up to my husbands tears.. knowing immediately why.. Not even for a moment questioning what is upsetting him so much in the middle of the night. He is just broken.. struggling with every moment to keep his head above water. So he does in his waking hours what is easier for him. He gets mad and frustrated over everything. But when I look at him all I see is a man completely overwhelmed.. overtaken with missing his daughter. I want so much to fix it for him. To be able to take his hand and run away. to take the burden off of his back and put[…]