Tag: first christmas

10 months

  JENNIFER JENNIFER JENNIFER jennifer.. I miss you. With every single cell of my body right now. I knew my heart would break when you left. I didn’t know it was even possible for my whole body to break.. for my heart to be so shattered .. for my soul to cry out for you. I watched your video tonight. The one we played at your services. And I wanted to scratch my own skin off. Pull my soul out of this broken body.. and throw it up to you. 10 months. Seriously. How is that even possible? Its like it was yesterday .. and forever ago. How am I going to make it through Christmas? I don’t want to. I don’t want to do it without you. I don’t think I can. Im not strong enough Jennifer. I look at your stocking. I want a little girl to shop[…]

santa and jesus.. not so far apart

Our home is decorated and Christmas season is officially here with the start of December. We decorated inside and outside this weekend. I wanted one more outdoor decoration and told the kids to look for one when they went out tree shopping with my parents. They came back knowing exactly what they wanted. A angel. Its perfect. .. well perfectly suited to us now. To remember what christmas is really all about. Love, family.. and Jesus. 2 years ago we jumped on the elf train.. those little toy elves that come for the month of December to kids homes to get to watch them be kids. Last year we put it out.. and then realized the girls and I would be leaving to go back to Palo Alto for her week of treatment. So I went out to buy a 2nd one. So she would get the fun of the[…]