Sometimes it feels like we are just sitting on the shore. .. feeling wave after wave of emotions hit us.. sometimes the current so strong it feels like it just might pull us out into open water. In the past few days I have felt so many emotions.. anger and fear.. heartache and despair. Tony’s […]
The only time I am not crying is when I am with other people. .. With Tony and the kids though I cannot seem to stop the tears. Everything is reminding me of her.. everything is ripping into the wound I keep waiting to start healing. right now I don’t think it ever will. right […]
You ever go back to something you loved as a child and it looks so different? A field isn’t so wide.. a staircase isn’t so high.. a playground isn’t so big?? I had that happen today. But I hadn’t been to this play ground as a child. .. I went there when my children were […]
I miss her today with all of me. I went for a run. It usually clears my head.. gives me space… But not today. I am hurting. I remember so clearly 6 months ago. Calling my sister to tell her to come.. then not come.. then come. I wasn’t sure that we needed her… wasn’t […]
I came home yesterday to a clean house.. boys happily playing at their coco and papas and a meal on the table. Oh how I love this man. But the thing I noticed first was baby Charlotte in her frozen sisters dress turned shirt. I had them made.. one for each of my daughters. As […]
I was invited to this thing called a nano course here at Stanford. Its a small invite only week long conference. The basic idea is to train some parents/foundation people to be liaisons for the medical community. What that means is much of what I was taught went over my head!! Some easy take aways […]
We had a good trip. I think in part because I did so much hard grieving before we left. The 3 days leading up to the trip were pretty miserable for me … and in turn my kids and husband. My family drives my bonkers sometimes. I get my feelings hurt.. and I am sure […]
I find myself back to a place where I have a longing for my nights to come and write. I don’t know if I am in a transitional period or if it is just a hard spot for me right now. I am brimming with emotions lately.. anger and sadness.. and a sharp desperate ache […]
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